Tuesday, Clay Aiken announced he was running for Congress in his native North Carolina. He’s going to make partisan gridlock “Invisible,” get it?
In honor of Aiken’s entrance into politics, I’m here to encourage some other musicians to do the same. I’ll even get things started by helpfully suggesting a sweet campaign slogan for each of them:
Katy Perry: “I have to be good at something. How about gover-nating?”
Glenn Danzig: “Is it possible to punch the deficit in the face? Elect me and let’s find out.”
Kanye West: “Hurry up with my damn croissants. And votes.”
Insane Clown Posse: “Hey, at least we’re upfront about being clowns.”
Michael Bolton: “Vote for me, and I’ll never make another record again.”
Justin Bieber: “With Ted Cruz already in office, one annoying Canadian deserves another.”
Coolio: “I’ll make taxes disappear faster than my career prospects.”
Miley Cyrus: “I will take a wrecking ball to the status quo. Also, I will be riding said wrecking ball. And I will not be wearing pants.”
Macklemore: “I didn’t deserve to win all those Grammys either. So, you know, what the hell?”
Adam Levine: “Blah blah blah. I’m just going to take my shirt off now, OK?”
Contact reporter Jason Bracelin at email@example.com or 702-383-0476. Follow on Twitter @JasonBracelin.