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Thursday, October 15, 1998
Excerpts from Jeremy Strohmeyer's 22-page statement
How did I ever get to the point in which I caused a little girl to die? In trying to answer these questions, I have had much help from my lawyers, my family, psychiatric experts. I've learned a lot about the risks of so-called closed adoptions, about genetic risk factors for inheriting mental illness and addiction ... about the difficulty of getting competent help for emotional problems, about the lethal effects of drugs and alcohol ... what happened to me that morning was a culmination of all the unsuspected risk factors in my life that I did not know how to recognize or address.
On his adoption and birth parents:
I do not know if the circumstances of my birth made my fate a foregone thing. I know now, too late, that my birth mother is a schizophrenic with a long history of alcohol abuse and drug addiction. The reason I didn't know this was because the Los Angeles County Adoption agency, which arranged my adoption, concealed the truth of my birth parents' backgrounds from my adoptive parents, on purpose. I know that had my parents known about the high risk I was at of running into emotional problems and addiction that they would have been more alert for signs of trouble and sought qualified help earlier on in my life. ... Just knowing the truth about my birth parents could have prevented my addictions.
On David Cash Jr.:
It was my embracing of what I thought was my dark side that caused David Cash to be the person who I was with, the person who would not lift a finger to save an innocent child from the drunken, drugged out mess that I was. I know what he is now and was then, an arrogant, unfeeling hater. Had I known who I truly was I would have seen him for what he was and I never would have spoken to, let alone befriended so morally corrupt an individual.
On former girlfriend Agnes Lee:
In her I found the perfect tool for my self-hatred, a pathological liar, who claimed she was incapable for genuine feelings for people, I was going to teach her to love. Instead she taught me the pain of being rejected, of having my offspring aborted, of using methamphetamine to mask pain. It was for her that I first purchased speed.
On his drug addiction, alcohol abuse and treatment:
This addiction soon ran over into every aspect of my life. I started ditching classes at school almost every day. I quit the school volleyball team that I had played with at the varsity level. My life began to fall apart around me. My behavior began to change. I became an aggressive, violent person. I began to fight with my parents more and more. My parents noticed the change as did my coach and my friends. My parents knew something was wrong, so they took me with them to see a family counselor. This counselor, whom it turns out was not licensed, told my parents that I suffered from attention deficit disorder, which I didn't. He, in turn, sent me to a psychiatrist. I met with this psychiatrist for about 20 minutes. At the end of these 20 minutes, this doctor gave me a prescription for a drug called Dexedrine, a form of amphetamine. ... When we arrived at Stateline that evening, I was coming down from my speed and trying to reverse the effects of my crash with my newly prescribed Dexedrine. This wasn't enough. So I started drinking as soon as I got the chance. ... It is sickening to me that all these things coming together provoked me to such brutality.
On gambling:
Had the casino not sold alcohol repeatedly to an 18-year-old. Had the gambling interests not lured families to their casinos for all-night activities. Had David Cash Senior kept his promise to leave by 3 a.m. If any of those things had been different, would that have saved Sherrice? I believe so. But none of us will ever know. ... I know better than to take on the gaming industry in the state of Nevada but neither Sherrice nor I belonged in that casino at four in the morning. I've heard that some of the casinos have made changes in the hours that kids can be in the arcades, but it's obvious that the gaming industry still wants the family business. ... What are kids doing around gambling and drinking and nudity period? I had no trouble getting drunk at casino bars or playing casino slots in Primm.
On society in general:
We shouldn't let culture raise our kids. ... It's too easy to let the television, the peer group or the school raise your kids. Especially with teen-agers, who are trying to be independent and rebel, communication is everything. ... I don't know what can be done about the proliferation of drugs in today's society, but it's obvious that what the government is doing isn't working.
On the Internet:
If people really believe that seeing child porn makes you a pedophile or seeing violence makes you a killer then we should have laws punishing (America Online) for allowing this stuff to be sent over their service. I guess we should also have laws punishing movie producers for every drop of blood shed in their films. I think it's a bad idea to let your kids stay glued to their computers and have their social life take place online. It's too unreal and isolating.
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