LEFTOVERS: Jay-Z’s sales pitch strikes sour chord

In his attempt to garner interest in his client, music impresario-turned-sports agent Jay-Z is trying to sell Robinson Cano as the “Michael Jordan of baseball.”

According to the New York Daily News, that’s the spin being put on the New York Yankees’ free-agent second baseman. In the Daily News story, an unnamed Major League Baseball source said of Cano’s situation: “They’re selling him as Michael Jordan, not as a baseball player, as a guy that’s going to be a big rock star and bring all these fans in. Last year, that wasn’t the case.”

There are problems with that. People aren’t going to flock to ballparks across North America to watch Robinson Cano hit. And they aren’t going to pay good money to watch him jog to first after hitting a ground ball or go half-speed around the bases when he launches one into the gap.

There’s one thing Jordan never could be accused of, whether it was in basketball or baseball, and that’s loafing.

■ LESS SPACE, MORE FILLING? — The Atlanta Braves’ proposed move to Cobb County from downtown Atlanta is supposed to make it more convenient for their fans to get to the games. But according to plans for the new ballpark, 2,500 fewer parking spaces will be available than already exist at Turner Field.

Only 6,000 dedicated parking spots are for the new stadium. Supposedly, the team wants to use the land for business development rather than parking. Part of the deal is that the Braves will get to build on land adjacent to the new stadium and retain all revenue from the establishments.

And the new ballpark is not serviced by the Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority, so public transit, which is an issue at Turner Field (the nearest MARTA station is 25 minutes away), will not be a viable option. The plan reportedly calls for shuttling fans from the nearby Cobb Galleria Centre.

Nothing like riding in a golf cart to the ol’ ballgame.

■ PRICE OF STUPIDITY — Be glad you’re not Robert Hopkins.

Hopkins is the buffoon who attempted to slide down a railing Sunday at Ralph Wilson Stadium only to fall from the upper deck onto another fan during the New York Jets-Buffalo Bills game.

The fact he survived the fall was the best news Hopkins received. For in the aftermath of his stunt, the Bills have banned him from the stadium for life, he has lost his job as a digital art director, and he might have to deal with the law as officials in Erie County, N.Y., are looking into prosecuting Hopkins for his reckless actions.

Happy holidays, dude. Hope you can watch the Bills from jail.

■ LOW BLOW — Golf legend Chi-Chi Rodriguez was participating in The Golf Channel’s Big Break NFL reality show when a golf ball he hit during a competition struck back and nailed him in the groin.

Rodriguez was trying to break a pane of glass from about 25 yards away, except the glass never broke, and the ball rebounded and hit him below the belt as the other participants cringed.

Fortunately, the 78-year-old was OK, and the show went on. But if you hear him sing in a higher octave, you’ll know why.

COMPILED BY STEVE CARP LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL