Strippers long have claimed they're doing it only to save money for college. But one day soon - we can only hope and pray - they might be able to honestly claim they're pursuing their dream of pole dancing in the Olympics.
The International Pole Sports Federation - who knew such a glorious organization existed? - is lobbying for qualified pole dancers to compete in the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro.
Pole dancing classes for fitness have become increasingly popular, and IPSF executive vice president Timothy Trautman said getting pole dancing recognized as an Olympic sport is the only way to prove that "pole dancers are incredible athletes."
We at Leftovers wholeheartedly agree and believe, with the proper support and encouragement, Las Vegas strippers - excuse us, pole sports athletes - could dominate this event.
Australian swimmer Stephanie Rice has a head start. She installed a stripper pole in her apartment to help her train for the London Games.
"I did do some classes, and I made one of my family members buy me the pole because I was, like, well this can be cross-training exercise," said Rice, clearly an intelligent woman.
■ HURTS SO GOOD - A little ditty about Hud Mellencamp. Son of rocker John Mellencamp growing up in the heartland. Huddy gonna try to be a football star. But he never played before, so he might not make it far.
A state champion Golden Gloves boxer in Indiana, Hud Mellencamp was home-schooled and didn't play high school football. But that didn't stop the Duke freshman from walking on to the Blue Devils football team as a 5-foot-11-inch, 165-pound safety.
Duke coach David Cutcliffe called Mellencamp "pretty courageous" for "trying to do something he's never done before." He said the plan is to shield Mellencamp from the media and "try to keep him back behind the scenes" while taking things slowly because of his lack of football experience.
In other words, he'll be used as a "Rudy"-like rag doll in practice and never see any game action.
Huddy sits back, collects his thoughts for a moment, scratches his head and does his best James Dean. Then he remembers his father's rich and famous and he could just party and hook up with chicks instead of getting beat up every day.
Oh, yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of being a tackling dummy for a Duke team destined to S-U-C-K in the A-C-C is gone.
■ HALF-BAKED - American judo fighter Nick Delpopolo, who on Monday was expelled from the Olympics for doping, said a family member had confessed that the brownies she baked and he'd eaten a few weeks earlier contained marijuana.
The unnamed family member wrote a note to the Olympic committee, calling the incident a huge mistake. But after polishing off the rest of the brownies, she apparently forgot to mail the letter.
Many have argued that pot doesn't enhance performance - unless it's ingested before snowboarding or a competitive eating event.
COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL