3 essential topics to discuss with aging parents

Dear Savvy Senior: My siblings and I don’t know much about our elderly parents’ financial situation or their final wishes if something happens to them. They are both in their mid-80s. What’s the best way to handle this and what should we know? — Apprehensive Daughter

Dear Apprehensive Daughter: Many adult children don’t know much about their elderly parents’ financial situation or end-of-life plans, but they should. Getting up to speed on their finances, insurance policies and other information is important because some day you might have to help them handle their financial affairs or care or execute their estate plan. Without this information, your job becomes much more difficult.

Have the conversation

If you are uncomfortable talking to your parents about this, use this column as a prompt or see TheConversationProject.org, which offers free guides that can help you kick-start these discussions.

It’s also a good idea to get all your siblings involved. This can help you head off any possible hard feelings. Plus, with others involved, your parents will know everyone is concerned.

When you talk with your parents, you will need to collect some information, find out where they keep key documents and how they want certain things handled when they die or if they become incapacitated. Here’s a checklist of areas to focus on:

Personal information

■ Contacts: Make a list of names and phone numbers of your parent’s doctors, lawyer, accountant, broker, tax preparer, insurance agent, etc.

■ Medical information: Make a copy of their medical history and a list of medications they take.

■ Personal documents: Find out where they keep their Social Security card, marriage license, military discharge papers, etc.

■ Secured places: Make a list of places they keep under lock and key such as safe deposit boxes, safe combination, security alarms, etc.

■ Digital assets: Make a list of their digital assets — everything from social media accounts to online banking. It should include usernames and passwords.

■ End of life: What are their wishes for organ or body donation and their funeral instructions? If they have made arrangements with a funeral home, get a copy of the agreement.

Legal documents

■ Will: Do they have an updated will or trust, and where is it located?

■ Power of attorney: Do they have a document that names someone to handle their financial matters if they become incapacitated?

■ Advance directives: Do they have a living will and a medical power of attorney that spell out their wishes regarding their end-of-life medical treatment? If not, now is the time to prepare these documents.

Financial records

■ Financial accounts: Make a list of their bank accounts, brokerage and mutual fund accounts, and any other financial assets they have.

■ Debts and liabilities: Make a list of any loans, leases or debts they have. Also, make a list of all credit cards, including the card numbers and contact information.

■ Company benefits: Make a list of any retirement plans, pensions or benefits, including the contact information of the benefits administrator.

■ Insurance: Make a list of the insurance policies they have, including the policy numbers, agents and phone numbers.

■ Property: Make a list of the real estate, vehicles or other properties they own, rent or lease and where they keep the deeds, titles and loan or lease agreements.

■ Taxes: Find out where they keep copies of past tax returns.

You probably will not get all this figured out in one sitting, so it’s important to keep the conversation going.

Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org.