Oh, those Washington jokers

To promote the development of alternative fuels, which unfortunately cost a pantload, Congress in 2007 expanded the tax credit for using non-fossil fuels, offering firms 50 cents a gallon to blend renewable fuels such as ethanol with traditional fossil fuels like diesel.

This caught the interest of a number of struggling American papermakers. Paper mills traditionally produce a liquid called "black liquor" as a byproduct of turning wood to pulp. The pulp is dried to make paper; the "black liquor" is used as fuel to power the mill.

What if they were to add small amounts of diesel to that black liquor, the paper manufacturers wondered. Wouldn't that qualify them for the tax subsidies, even though it actually meant they'd be using more fossil fuels than they used to?

It sure did. Although the credits were never intended for paper companies, they could end up being worth more than $3 billion a year, according to a congressional estimate. One company, Memphis-based International Paper, has already received $71.6 million in credits for a single month.

Needless to say, since helping filthy old pulp mills prosper was not the greens' intention, they're now pulling their hair out over this unintended consequence of their meddling.

Sen. Max Baucus, chairman of the Senate Finance Committee, on Thursday called the tax breaks for paper companies a loophole that needs to be plugged. "We are working to undo that unintended consequence," he said.

Not so fast, say fellow members of his tax-writing committee, all of whom happen to hail from paper-producing states.

Sen. Olympia Snowe, R-Maine, called the credit a "lifeline" for the struggling papermakers. "We should be doing everything we can to salvage this industry," she said.

Sen. Ron Wyden, D-Ore., agreed the credits will not be allowed to expire without paper companies receiving some other relief, if he has anything to say about it. "I won't let that happen," the senator told The Associated Press.

Yee-haw! Welcome to Thursday night mud wrestling!

Here's a novel idea: What if the Congress were to enact modest taxes designed to spread the burden of government as evenly as possible, abandoning once and for all their hopeless -- and often hilarious -- attempts to reward favorites, punish the unpopular, and generally manipulate behaviors through "targeted tax breaks"?

It just never seems to work out very well.