Margaret Cho balances comedy with ‘Dancing With the Stars’

Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol has been "super friendly" with liberal comedian Margaret Cho on the set of "Dancing With the Stars," which starts Monday, Cho says.

"It's gotta be tough to be a mom at that age. I was well into abortion four at her age," Cho jokes.

Cho, 41, used to say onstage she wants to have sexy good times with Bristol's mom. Cho isn't sure if Bristol has seen that bit.

"She's very nice to me, so I don't think she's seen it," Cho says.

All joking aside, Cho says it really must be rough to be a 19-year-old single mom.

"What helps, probably, is she's really rich. So that's probably great."

And Cho is giving Bristol the benefit of the political doubt.

"She doesn't necessarily have to have the same values as her family. She's just a kid."

Cho hopes Sarah stops by the "Dancing" set.

"Maybe I could hit on her, finally."

What is Cho's sexual fascination with Sarah Palin?

She finds "super conservative people" "kind of hot" because they are the opposite of her.

"It's like, you're attracted to what's repellent" intellectually, she says. "That's what it is. You're so grossed out, it sort of turns you on."

By extension, Cho thinks Sarah Palin should dig Cho in return.

"She just stands for all the things I don't believe in. So by the same token -- she must have the hots for me! We're destined to hit it off."

Cho says people shouldn't be surprised that she, a liberal, gets along with conservatives.

"When I met Ann Coulter, she was nothing but nice to me. She was awesome," Cho says. "She was a treat.

"So there's not really that animosity. I think people you disagree with, you can get it on with."

MARRYING GAY PEOPLE

Still, Cho is definitely at political odds with Sarah Palin. Cho was deputized to lead marriage ceremonies in San Francisco.

She felt greatly honored to be allowed to conduct two big ceremonies, one for a gay-male couple, another for a lesbian couple.

"I have one of those Universal Life ministry cards, so I can actually perform them anywhere," she says.

Cho tells me she is so upset by people who oppose gay marriage that she will no longer defend gay marriage. Instead, she's going on the offense against gay marriage opponents.

"I'm starting a new campaign called, 'Well (Expletive) Them.' Because it's so ludicrous. I'm so sick of defending," she says. "It feels better to do that."

Besides, it's not like straight couples have perfected marriage. Example:

Cho suffered an unrequited love, for a writer she once worked with, for 17 years. The guy not only rebuffed her. He broke her heart. She carried a torch. That old story.

Then one day, Cho went Googling his name to find out where he was.

It turns out the guy was imprisoned for killing his wife.

Cho was inspired by that chain of events to co-write a song, "I'm Sorry," with Andrew Bird. It's on her new album, "Cho Dependent."

"I found out not only was he a murderer, he left his wife's body in the attic for a month until she mummified," Cho says.

"Now, he's heard the song in prison, and he's trying to contact me. I don't want to be the Mummy Returns."

He contacted her through another person, she says.

"And they were saying, 'He did cause his wife's death, but you don't know the whole story.'

"I'm like, 'Yeah, I know enough.' I know enough that he killed her. I know enough that he left her body in the attic for a month. What else do you need to know?

"It's interesting how he made it about him again.

"It's freaking me out. I don't want him to get out of prison and kill me!" she says.

That's understandable.

working hard

Cho is a busy beaver. Not only is she on "Dancing" -- doing costume fittings, rehearsals, interviews and the show itself -- but she's also performing comedy dates around America.

"I'm still touring. I'm on the road," she says. "We're dancing on the bus. It's intense. We're dancing in parking lots.

"It's more like 'Dancing With the Assistants,'" she jokes.

But it's worth it.

"I love the show. It's so fun to watch. I love the costumes. It's just kind of a chance to do something that's physically challenging.

"It's a lot like 'Survivor' -- but with sequins."

Doug Elfman's column appears Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. E-mail him at delfman @reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.