A guide to rocking out with ‘teenage abandon’ at a Bon Jovi gig

Get ready for high-fives from strangers.

Lots of them.

Copious amounts, in fact, as if you just did something truly heroic.

This is what it’s like attending a Bon Jovi concert.

I’ve covered the band a handful of times over the years, and no other group moves their fans to slap palms in triumph throughout their shows like these dudes do.

Seriously, if you’re planning on catching Bon Jovi this weekend, better start limbering up those wrists now.

And that’s not all you need to know if you’ll be checking out the band Saturday. To help you maximize the experience, here are a few pointers on Bon Jovi concert etiquette.

DON’T PLAN ON AVOIDING NEW TUNES BY HITTING THE JOHN

In the music parlance of our times, “heritage act” is short for “you’re old, you haven’t had a hit since Bruce Willis had hair and people took Gary Busey seriously, but we still love you because your songs remind us of when we were young. Now play the hits and little else so that we can steel ourselves from the slow, enervating creep of our mortality by wrapping ourselves in this momentarily comforting blanket of nostalgia. Thanks.”

So, does Bon Jovi qualify for said designation? Yes and no. Despite the fact that it notched most of its signature tunes in the ’80s and ’90s, back when the only thing bigger than its hits were your girlfriend’s bangs, the band consistently puts out new records — four in the past 10 years — and it’s hitting the latest one, “This House Is Not For Sale,” hard on the current tour, playing a half-dozen tunes from it per night.

And so while plenty of acts whose careers have spanned decades play new material sparingly, almost apologetically at times — I once saw a Neil Diamond gig where he explicitly told the crowd that now was the time to use the bathroom because new tunes were a-comin’ — Bon Jovi is not among them. Don’t want to hear fresh jams? Don’t go.

DON’T CRY FOR RICHIE

“House” is Bon Jovi’s first record without guitarist Richie Sambora, whose departure from the band was about as amicable as an encounter between Vincent Vega and the dude who keyed his ride.

While there’s no doubt Sambora has been instrumental in shaping the Bon Jovi sound over the years, it’s hard to argue that his absence weakens the foundation of this “House.”

Here’s the thing: Jon Bon Jovi’s at his best with a Luxor-sized chip on his shoulder, real or imagined. He’s like the rock ’n’ roll equivalent of the perpetually peeved Michael Jordan, who always found a way to envision himself as the underdog even when racking up title after title.

“House” reflects as much: It’s the band’s most defiant, invigorated-sounding record since at least 2005’s “Have A Nice Day.”

“Every day I wake up with my back against the wall,” Bon Jovi asserts on “Knockout,” one of a number of tunes here about not just rolling with the punches, but throwing more than a few uppercuts along the way.

“I ain’t living with the ghost / No future living in the past,” he howls early on in the record. And while we have n-o-o-o-o-o idea who said ghost could possibly be, we’re pretty sure its name rhymes with “Richie Sambora.”

DON’T BE A SIT-DOWN CLOWN

I’ll say it: Las Vegas arena rock crowds can be lame. I’ve seen a lot of shows in a lot of different cities, and Vegas holds the distinction of being the place where not only do an above-average amount of fans sit through rock concerts, but said party poopers will further shame themselves by imploring others to do the same.

Now, I’m not suggesting you need to throw your hands in the air and wave ’em like you just don’t care next time you catch Andrea Bocelli or crowd surf at Celine Dion gigs (Wait, scratch that second part, you should definitely crowd surf at Celine Dion shows).

But c’mon, Bon Jovi shows are about cuttin’ loose, even if the group doesn’t pack the over-the-top aplomb it once did, back when its frontman sported a Simba-worthy mane and rocked epidermal leather pants so tight that a gnat would have to Crisco up its legs to slide into them.

If you’re too old to rock out with teenage abandon, well, so is Bon Jovi, technically speaking.

And that’s the reason for seeing the band in the first place: to feel like you’re not, at least for a night.

Read more from Jason Bracelin at reviewjournal.com. Contact him at jbracelin@reviewjournal.com and follow @JasonBracelin on Twitter.