That $169 one-day pass only goes so far at Rock in Rio.
If you don’t want to be seen with all the regular festivalgoers, the VIP package will run you $503.95 a night.
If that’s still not exclusive enough for you, there’s the straight-up baller experience: a cabana for you and up to 14 of your friends that tops out at $20,225.56 on Friday nights and $26,552.23 on Saturdays.
The VIP area looks much like you’d expect Kanye West’s living room might. There are white leather couches everywhere.
Autographed guitars from most of the acts, part of a charity auction to combat deforestation, line one wall. And Wolfgang Puck has catered a buffet featuring the likes of fried chicken-and-pimento cheese Po Boys with okra kimchi as well as jalapeño maple glazed chicken and waffles with smoked bacon and chives.
But during a tour of the area as Mana played the main stage, there were tons of Ps. That shirtless gentleman wearing a suit jacket and bow tie may have even been an IP. But there were very few actual VIPs to be found.
They must have been in the cabanas.
So what do you get for that $26,552.23, roughly the price of new Mini Cooper? Bottle service that includes 24 Red Bulls, 24 Coronas, 24 waters, five bottles of Belvedere, five bottles of Dom Perignon, two bottles of Moet Nectar Rose and one bottle of Bacardi.
Of that, $1,620 is sales tax, $3,000.96 goes to the gratuity, $666.88 is billed as a service charge and a whopping $1,264.39 is earmarked as a processing fee.
Contact Christopher Lawrence at email@example.com. Follow him on Twitter: @life_onthecouch.