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Sheen … Woods … same weekend

It's on. Charlie Sheen is returning to Vegas this weekend as the celebrity host of Chateau nightclub late Saturday night after he performs onstage in San Francisco.

"Mortals: Meet the Warlock," he tweeted on Thursday, "flying in after my SF show" for an "EPIC VEGAS AFTER PARTY!"

The last time Mr. Warlock partied in Vegas (that we know of) was January at the Palms during the Adult Video News porn awards.

He made massive gossip news then by holing up in a hotel room with three porn stars, including Bree Olson, then drinking shots at a hotel bar.

That led to Sheen being late on a morning set of "Two and a Half Men," which kicked off that whole TV show debacle, which led (with his cocaine-spiral) to losing the CBS gig and becoming America's Next Top Warlock.

If you're planning to go to Chateau to glimpse Sheen (who says he's off narcotics), be aware of three things.

A) His Bay Area show starts at 8 p.m. So there's no way he will be at Chateau before 1 a.m., his publicist tells me.

B) This will be the madhouse of all madhouses.

C) Kids, don't do drugs.

If you want to see a more wholesome fella, you can go to Mandalay Bay to check out the Tiger Jam concert put on by Tiger Woods (oops) starring John Mayer (umm) and sober Keith Urban.

Well, it's going to be a weekend, isn't it?

CUTE LITTLE DOGGIES

If you love adorable dogs, the bargain of the season is Sunday's "Best in Show" at Orleans Arena (1 p.m.; $12; $5 for children and seniors), starring Animal Foundation shelter dogs. Every year, it's amazing. In today's Neon section, emcee Rita Rudner tells us about her pooches.

PRE-SIGHTINGS

"Celebrity Apprentice" contestant and former Playmate of the Year Hope Dworaczyk hosts Saturday at club Vanity. ... DJ Z-Trip spins tonight at club Haze. ... DJ Kaskade is at Encore Beach Club on Sunday. ... Dania Ramirez from "Entourage" goes tonight to Chateau. ... Actress Sara Rue has a bachelorette party Saturday at Tao Beach. ... And "Idol's" Blake Lewis is club Blush's DJ on Saturday.

Doug Elfman's column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Contact him at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.

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