For entertainment pro, positive mindset crucial to healing

As the director of production for On Stage Enterprises, which owns all of the “Legends in Concert” shows nationally, including the residency show at the Flamingo Las Vegas, Toni Lee has spent her career prepared to make quick adjustments based on performance mishaps and unpredictable situations. But when a diagnosis of breast cancer was shared with her on — of all days — Sept. 11, 2007, 48-year-old Lee couldn’t find a way to justify the disease choosing her body.

“I was always vigilant about self breast exams and getting my annual mammogram,” she said. “My best friend’s mother had passed away because of breast cancer many years ago, and that had made me more aware of the impact this cancer could have.”

Although Lee had a history of cysts, she didn’t initially think much of the painful lump that she had found between mammograms that year.

“Everybody says that a lump that hurts isn’t breast cancer,” she said. “As the days and weeks went by and I kept feeling the pain, I finally decided to get it checked.”

That irritating painful spot turned out to be an aggressive 4-centimeter tumor.

“Thank God it had not spread,” Lee said.

Shortly after the discovery, she went through six rounds of chemotherapy, 36 radiation treatments and a lumpectomy.

“I also tested positive for the BRCA gene and, at the time, had no idea where this could have come from,” Lee said.

There was no history of breast cancer in her family, but when her 74-year-old mother was diagnosed five years later, they learned that she also carried the genetic mutation, hence the unwelcome inheritance.

“I believe there is a reason that I got this,” she said. “Maybe it was a wake-up call that I needed to turn around some things in my life, but maybe I’ll never know the reason. Of course, I’ve had my moments of not handling it well, but I try to think of it more as a positive learning experience.”

As a survivor, Lee undergoes regularly scheduled testing by her surgeon and oncologist every six months.

“My husband and friends always know when I’m getting close to a checkup,” she said. “My angst just gets the better of me.”

She also has a mammogram and an MRI each year — something she will do until she is 70 years old. “These tests are very intrusive and scary, and it all causes me so much anxiety.”

She knows that she is lucky to be alive and that she is at a higher risk for the cancer to return because of the BRCA gene.

“I’ve been a performer my entire life, and performers are sensitive,” she said. “They need a lot of encouragement and a lot of positivity. I’ve always said to myself, ‘I’m not the best performer in the world, but I’m by far not the worst!’ There’s always somebody in a better position than you, but there’s also always somebody worse off.”

She said that she approaches cancer with this same mindset. “I have to do that to get through my day sometimes,” she added.

“We all have a fear of the unknown, and I was no different. When I found out I had breast cancer, I was raging mad, but when I stopped and thought it through, I knew that it was a message to live my life to the fullest I can,” Lee said. “There will be times of sadness and depression and those emotions need to be embraced. Don’t fight them but in the same way, don’t let them linger.”

She advises everyone, regardless whether they have been diagnosed with a disease or chronic condition, to be aware of their own bodies.

“Every moment of our life is precious, and we can learn from all of our emotions. I try to tell myself each day that I’m alive right now and this moment counts,” she said. “Let’s all try to be the best we can be while we’re on this Earth.”