New friendships: Cancer’s silver lining

When she was officially diagnosed with stage 2a estrogen-positive cancer in a lymph node, Renee Bradberry’s life turned upside down. With a wonderfully supportive husband, Troy, and a 4-year-old son just entering preschool, she knew she had a lot to live for but was not aware of the positive impact a new friendship formed through her diagnosis would bring.

“My surgeon and oncologist agreed with my husband and I that I had a long life to still live,” Bradberry said. “I wanted to face this disease head-on and treat it as aggressively as possible. I went through chemo, a double mastectomy, radiation and finally, reconstruction in August 2016. It’s wonderful having all of that behind me!”

Currently on a medicine called Femura, Bradberry is also receiving Lupron shots to halt her production of estrogen and is “praying daily that all of this is working to keep the cancer at bay.”

Feeling that there was a larger purpose to her diagnosis, Bradberry, who lives in Grand Blanc, Michigan, received a call from a friend in Las Vegas who mentioned that she had a friend who had been recently diagnosed with breast cancer.

“I reached out to her friend, Lee-Ann Burgess, never knowing that the conversation we had in June 2015 would lead to an amazing friendship,” she said. “I’ll never forget our first conversation — it seemed like we had known each other forever! We talked, we cried, we laughed. … I talked mostly about my cancer experience, sharing with her the pieces of advice that truly helped me.

“That first call led to many more. We chatted at least once a month and continuously sent each other messages through Facebook. I really wanted to be a positive light in her life as I think that often there is such negativity and self-pity placed on a cancer journey. Yes, cancer is a beast … but like anything, I truly believe that the way in which you approach it can truly change your own experience.”

Bradberry said Burgess reminded her a lot of herself: strong, independent, positive, strong in her faith and determined.

“Because Lee-Ann’s treatment plan did not require radiation, she ended up having reconstructive surgery before me. She was a wealth of knowledge and a shoulder for me to lean on. I was so grateful,” Bradberry said.

The two even mailed mastectomy pillows and presurgery care packages back and forth.

“Every phone call I have with Lee-Ann is a breath of fresh air. I always hang up the call with a smile and a positive heart,” Bradberry said. “To know that you can be brutally honest and open, but also leave your heart on your sleeve with no judgment, is the best gift one can give. I was blessed with that gift of friendship with Lee-Ann.”

Burgess agrees that their special friendship is the silver lining that came from both of their cancer diagnoses.

“Our mutual friend, Becky, told me about Renee before she even knew I was preparing to have a biopsy,” Burgess said. “The first photo I ever saw of Renee was of her nearly bald head with hair growing back in. Becky was so excited to share news about her friend’s recovery without even knowing that I was facing the same thing.”

She continued, “When I finally shared my situation with Becky, she immediately passed my contact information to Renee, knowing that we needed to talk. From that first conversation, I knew Renee had such a pure heart and was amazed that she was so concerned about me and what I was going through, especially since she was still in treatment herself.

“Her love and support has been like no other.”

Being able to talk honestly, even on days when one woman or the other felt horrible, was something that Burgess hopes everyone experiences through the gift of friendship.

“I can’t even imagine going through this journey without Renee’s support,” Burgess said. “I truly believe that if you’re lucky enough, you’ll experience a ‘pay-it-forward’ component to cancer. Renee is the best cheerleader I’ve ever had and her positivity is always in my mind.”

Over the past two years, conversations between the two have evolved to talking about subjects other than cancer.

“We talk about diets and supplements to help with the lasting aches cancer treatments leave behind,” Bradberry said. “Ironically, this summer, we both took new jobs working for schools and Lee-Ann was my biggest cheerleader, encouraging me to take a leap at the new path that was placed before me. We talk about marriage and our families. … I’ve been incredibly blessed and am looking forward to many more years of conversations.”

The most astonishing part of this amazing friendship is that these two women have never actually met in person. “It is definitely on my to-do list!” Bradberry said.

She has hinted to her husband that this fall, when she turns 40, meeting Burgess would be the “very best gift.”