Stress, depression often peak as Yuletide approaches

It’s the holiday season, which comes with many items on people’s lists.

Buy food for holiday parties: Check.

Put up decorations: Done.

Look for gifts for families: Did it.

What about mitigate holiday stress?

For many people, this time of year comes with a lot of unwanted emotions that can cause stress and add complications to an already overburdened schedule.

Ron Lawrence, executive director at Community Counseling Center of Southern Nevada, says this is a common feeling during the holiday season.

“Everyone has a role to fulfill during the holiday season,” he says. “You have to buy gifts. You have to buy a tree. You have to figure out what the children want.”

Everyday work and life tasks don’t stop during this process.

Kathleen Grace Santor, a marriage and family therapist at the Stress Management Center of Nevada, says some of the stress is caused by lack of preparation.

“What I find helps best is if you prepare mentally and emotionally ahead of time,” she says. “When you just go into a stressful situation at the last minute, you tend to be more reactionary.”

Santor says the top two stressful situations she sees during the holidays are financial issues and family situations.

“There is a lot of pressure in buying gifts,” she says. “That is especially true for children. A lot of gifts for children now are technology based and can be more specific.”

Whether it is the holiday party or gifts, she says people should set a budget and stick to it.

“Even if you find and buy everything during the holidays, after the holidays when you get all the bills, that is when the stress can set in,” she adds.

She recommends trying to save ahead of time to relieve the pressure and debt.

Santor says when family visits, or even if a person goes home to see family, this can cause a lot of anxiety.

“They have to deal with people they aren’t comfortable being around,” she says.

She has heard from clients who dread certain family members because of the way they act.

“Prepare yourself for how they are and just accept that is how they are going to act,” she says.

One of the Mayo Clinic’s tips for the season is to set aside differences between family members, and Lawrence suggests focusing on things that create bonding such as holiday traditions or games that family members used to play during childhood.

“If Grandma made something during your childhood, you could make that dish,” he says. “Bringing conditions of the past like food and games can bring in healing, too.”

When all else fails, Santor says there are things people can do in the moment to cope.

“Plan little escapes to take a break from the situation,” she says. “It can be as easy as taking a nap or taking a long shower.”

She also says people can go for a 20-minute walk or volunteer to run to the store just to get away for a few minutes.

Santor has also heard from people who are overwhelmed trying to put on a perfect holiday.

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help,” she says. “Everything doesn’t have to be perfect. Instead of being Martha Stewart in the kitchen, make it a potluck.”

Lawrence says it’s not just stress people deal with at this time of year. The holiday season can also bring on sadness, even depression.

He adds that Las Vegas being a transient city and home to many immigrants, this time of year can make people long for the past.

“You’re nostalgic for the place you’re from or something you missed from the year before,” he says. “This can make you feel depressed or even anxious.”

Even with the busyness of the season, with holiday days off work, people will have time to dwell on some of these feelings.

“We have times we slow down in a lot of ways,” he says. “It gives us more time to reflect. You didn’t get a Christmas card from someone and then remember they died last year. Or you think about the house you grew up in that is in another part of the country.”

No matter what the emotion is, people shouldn’t run away from what they are feeling, experts say.

“Those emotions are valid,” Lawrence says.

He suggests writing feelings down in a journal.

“It might not be a remedy, but it can help you get outside of your head,” he notes.

Lawrence also recommends starting new traditions for people who are longing for some of the past holiday moments.

It is something he has even done.

“I have a memory of driving down Spring Mountain (during the holiday season) and seeing a sign for Liberace, who was playing at the Hilton, I think,” Lawrence says. “That is my memory of Christmas in Vegas.”

If it is mourning a loved one who died, he says set time aside — maybe light a candle or hang a special ornament — to honor their memory.

Suicide attempts increase during the season, he adds.

“People oftentimes think they can’t get through this or their feelings are unsolvable,” he says. “I have one therapist in the office who says it’s not that you want to die to end your life, but you want to die to end the feelings you have.”

No matter the emotion, Lawrence says people shouldn’t use alcohol as a coping mechanism.

“Overdrinking can be very dangerous in the first place,” he says. “People are drinking to suppress a certain emotion. If you’re using alcohol as a medication, those feelings are just going to come back the next day.”

If the stress trigger is from tension between family members, heavy drinking can also cause people to lose control of their inhibitions and lash out at family members, which could cause more stress.

To get a handle on these issues beforehand, the Mayo Clinic recommends seeking professional help as a resource during this time period.

Lawrence says the center gets an influx of visitors to talk about holiday emotions.

“This is on top of who we see on a regular basis,” he says. “A lot of people just haven’t dealt with a past emotion and the holidays bring that up. We try to turn these negative feelings around into something positive.”

Contact reporter Michael Lyle at mlyle@reviewjournal.com or 702-387-5201. Follow @mjlyle on Twitter.