The do’s and don’ts of restroom etiquette

The obvious does not need stating. It was your mom's job to teach you how to clean up after yourself, flush properly, and wash your hands. We wondered about grayer situations, the awkward kind that separate the considerate from the contemptible at public and employee restrooms.

We entrusted this delicate task to two experts. No. 1 is etiquette expert Daniel Senning, who is not only a spokesman for the Emily Post Institute but Emily Post's great-grandson. No. 2 is Rudy Gutierrez, who is not only a bathroom attendant at Moon and the Playboy Club at the Palms, but was employee of the month for March.

Incidentally, if this article was left anonymously on your desk, we're guessing you need to read every bit of it.

WHAT HAPPENS IN A VEGAS STALL

Any noises and smells, however disturbing, must be assumed unavoidable and thus, acceptable, our experts agree -- as long as they are reasonably associated with the process. Or, as Gutierrez puts it, "If you gotta go, you gotta go." That having been said, however, if you don't really gotta, at least number two-wise, then save it for home.

BUFFERING

If a buffer zone of one stall or urinal can be left between visitors, it should be. If three positions are empty, take an end and never the middle. "People like their space," Gutierrez explains.

CELL TALKING

"We hear a lot of complaints about this," Senning says. "It might feel like incredibly private space, but there are people in the stall next to you who don't necessarily want to hear your conversation." Taking a call just to say you can't take a call is still bad etiquette, but worlds more acceptable than scouring your address book for old friends to spend 10 free minutes with.

SMOKING

Under no circumstances is this acceptable, Senning says -- even if legally permitted -- because the space is so confined. In nightclub restrooms, Gutierrez says, this rule has some give: "It's a little rude, but after people have a couple of drinks, they act different."

THE FOOT FLUSH

Some see this as defensive, considering how many foot-flushers they assume preceded them. However, as Senning points out, "good manners is predicated on assuming good behavior from other people, not stooping to their lowest possible level." Both experts suggest grabbing a sliver of toilet paper when the flusher is not automatic.

THE TAMPON FLUSH

The overriding principle, our experts concur, applies to tile floors, granite counters and porcelain fixtures as readily as it does to campsites: "Leave it better than you found it," as Senning says. Used tampons belong in the garbage along with anything else that could lead to ...

THE OVERFLOW

Yes, we know it was an accident. We don't know of anyone who does this on purpose. Still, no matter how embarrassing the task, all humans who consider themselves civilized have the obligation to alert an authority -- even if the problem was there before they were. "Particularly if it's a problem that's continuing," Senning says. (Gutierrez adds his own spin: "Please don't puke in the urinal, because then it won't go down.")

THE PUSH-'N'-PEEK

If the stall door crack isn't wide enough to reveal a person inside, always bend down and look for legs. Do not push and peek. Sometimes, locks don't work -- especially when people forget to engage them. "Oh no," Gutierrez says. "That is not good."

READING MATERIAL

Although it may gross out neurotically clean people, leaving your newspaper or magazine behind on the floor is acceptable. "Just make it something decent," Senning says. (Gutierrez registers a site-specific concern: "I don't think this is a good idea in the Playboy Club bathroom.")

SHAVING/TOOTHBRUSHING/HAIRBRUSHING/MAKING UP OVER THE SINK

All are equally acceptable, as long as you thoroughly wash the area afterward, and don't monopolize the mirror for more than five minutes. Indeed, attended bathrooms welcome it. "That's what bathrooms are for," Senning says, "and a lot of companies expect men not to have a five o'clock shadow."

URINAL TALKING

There is no more inappropriate place possible to open with a stranger -- unless, as Senning says, "something happens and you might want to make some remark." Even between males who are acquainted, ignoring each other is completely acceptable, and anything beyond "Hi" can wait for the sink. "It's your privacy moment, so you should have respect," Gutierrez says. Even sink talk should be small, however. The bathroom was built for only one kind of business. "Meetings should not be carried into restrooms," Senning says.

URINAL WIND-PASSING

Despite widening acceptance of this practice, the personal space around a trapped, innocent man is never the right place to float an air biscuit. Of course, accidents happen, which is what "excuse me's" are for. Unfortunately, if the passer has decided to pretend that nothing happened, his victim is obliged to play along. "There's a certain courtesy to being discreet," Senning says.

TIPPING ATTENDANTS

Always, according to Senning, at least a dollar. (Gutierrez's manners were too good to address this one.)

Contact reporter Corey Levitan at clevitan@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0456.