THE WATER COOLER

Here are a few things in news, sports, entertainment and popular culture that we’ve been talking about lately.

• The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department begins tweeting on Twitter. OMG TDIFU! (Translation: Oh my god, this doughnut is freakin’ unbelievable!)

• Miss California’s quest for the Miss USA 2009 crown ends after she draws Perez Hilton’s question about same-sex marriage in the final interview. Then, realizing that she could have drawn the questions of any of 11 other judges instead, Miss California departs Las Vegas with a keen hatred of the laws of probability.

• The Detroit Lions unveil a new, meaner leaping lion mascot. A move undercut only slightly by the lion’s unofficial nickname: “Bubbles.”

• A 100-year-old woman from New Jersey becomes the oldest competitor in the history of the United States Bowling Congress Women’s Championships. At least when she bowls her age, it’s not cause for embarrassment.

•Contestant Susan Boyle’s surprising performance on “Britain’s Got Talent” goes viral and wows the world. Susan Boyle: 1 hexillion, Childhood Bullies: Zip.

JOHN PRZYBYS (jprzybys@reviewjournal.com)

• The NORML Foundation plans to run pro-marijuana ads on nationwide cable networks. For maximum audience impact, they’ll air at 3 in the morning between the Twinkies and Cheetos commercials.

•Researchers think they may have found the tomb of Cleopatra and Marc Antony near Alexandria, Egypt. The collection of “Hello Bastet” purses was the tip-off.

•Florida investigators try to figure out why more than 20 polo ponies dropped dead before a match. The chief suspect: A tiny felt man who goes by the alias “Ralph Lauren.”

• Serial birther Nadya Suleman wants to trademark the name “Octomom.” Apparently, “Irresponsible Crazy Breeder” is already taken.

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