Area mothers-in-law praised as mentors

Move over, Jane Fonda. You've got nothing on these local mothers-in-law.

In honor of Mother's Day, the Las Vegas Review-Journal asked readers to submit stories about their cool mothers-in-law. You know, the women who get a bad rap in movies such as Fonda's "Monster-in-Law," the women who are stereotyped as overbearing, nosy, picky and downright mean.

Readers responded with stories and anecdotes that cast mothers-in-law in a whole different light. We received stories about mothers-in-law who are kind and generous, such as Shirley Kumpf and JoAnne Monaco. And then there were the inspirational stories about mothers-in-law who went above and beyond the call of duty.

For instance, Jackie Calalesina, who retired more than two years ago to help care for her grandson who was diagnosed with Down syndrome. Or Rebecca Theckston, the mother-in-law who not only takes care of her daughter-in-law's blind dog but who also maintains a positive outlook on life despite living with chronic pain. Then there's Karolyn Nelson. She makes daughter-in-law Hilary's life much easier by helping her with child care.

Here are a selection of stories about mothers-in-law who have made a positive difference.

JACKIE CALALESINA

My mother-in-law Jackie is the best! We've always had a great relationship, mainly because she laughs at all of my goofy jokes (especially when my wife doesn't like them). We go out gambling together and she likes watching sports, especially baseball.

After my father-in-law passed away we talked her into moving in with us. She has been a fantastic "roommate." My wife tells anyone that will listen to her that I get along better with her mom than I do with her.

Shortly after my son was born the doctors told us that he had Down syndrome. Without skipping a beat, Jackie said, "That's it, I will retire and take care of him."

She takes him to therapy four days a week and works with him every day. I know that she is the main reason my son is doing so well and is able to amaze all of his therapists.

I appreciated and loved her for the things that she did for our family before this selfless act and believe that I will never be able to convey how much this means to me. I am blessed to have Jackie as a mother-in-law. I am even more blessed to have her as my friend.

- Sent by son-in-law Travis Adams

REBECCA THECKSTON

My mother-in-law is more than that, she's my second mom.

There are so many things that make her special and dear to my heart. Along with being caring, loving and supportive, as all great ones are, she will help us any way and in any situation.

She is one of the most positive people I know and a role model. She has had and is still living with many ailments every day, ones so severe she was written up in medical journals for them. I know she's in constant pain but you would never know it. She doesn't let anything get her down or keep her in one place.

Whenever I ask how she's doing she always says, "I'm doing great, baby." She never looks for sympathy because she's happy to see the sun rise every day. I have to be honest, even I'm not that strong all the time. But her attitude toward life is a daily inspiration and encourages me to live the same.

Another thing that is amazing about her is that she's never made us feel guilty for not calling or dropping by. When her friends ask if she's seen or heard from the kids, us, she always says, "They have a life too and I know they're there."

And last but not least, she is puppy-sitting for us. Recently our sheltie, Maddy, went blind. She is our baby and her grandbaby. Leaving her all day is very upsetting for us and also for Maddy.

I considered quitting my job but I love it and the fear that another opening wouldn't be available again was scary. So she comes whenever we won't be home all day. She sits with her, takes her out and is just there for her for whatever she needs. Without her, I would be a mess and actually not very attentive while working.

People are shocked when I tell them how much I love her. I couldn't be luckier as she is a blessing in my life.

- Sent by daughter-in-law Gail Mayhugh

KAROLYN NELSON

When I first met my husband, I loved his mother. She was so sweet and genuinely kind. I figured from all I ever heard about mothers-in-law, all that would change when we got married.

But I was wrong.

She continues to be one of our biggest fans and supporters. We have borrowed her car multiple times for out-of-town trips and left her with our old car, which is really hers. She has let us use it the whole time my husband has been in school. She has taken her job as grandmother very seriously, being there for all of the celebrations in our kids' lives, from birthday parties, T-ball games, tumbling classes and early morning Christmas present openings.

I have come home to flowers and a gift on my table many times from my mother-in-law for no reason at all. I can go to her for anything and know that she will always listen and she only gives advice when asked for it. Even if she doesn't agree with something we choose to do, she keeps her opinion to herself and lets us live our lives and learn from our own adventures.

I currently work a full-time job and my husband is a full-time student. My mother-in-law takes my son to preschool three days a week with no complaint at all. I hear friends talk about their mothers-in-law and I am so thankful all over again for the mother-in-law I have been blessed with!

- Sent by daughter-in-law Hilary Nelson

JOANNE MONACO

My mother-in-law is one of my life's treasures and it is my pleasure to tell you more.

As a true Irish woman, she is quick with a story, a joke and a laugh. Her health may have slowed her down some in recent years, but there is nothing more enjoyable than sitting with her and talking. I love hearing her talk about her life and also love discussing day-to-day events. We often travel with my in-laws and do so because we enjoy the company!

She is my friend and my mentor. When I was a new wife and mother, she provided me with endless examples of how to be a good wife and mother and how to have fun doing both. She has provided insight over the years as my children have gone through different stages, and we have faced family crises together.

We are both nurses and JoAnne provided me with guidance when I worked my way through nursing school and first entered this chosen profession. She understood the frustrations and the joys of being a nurse as others in my family could not.

She had to take over as my surrogate mother after mine died, and she has done this well. I only have good things to say about my mother-in-law! She has been my mother-in-law for 25 years so far, and our friendship continues to grow.

- Sent by daughter-in-law Denise Monaco

SHIRLEY KUMPF

It is with great sadness that I write this concerning my mother-in-law, as she passed almost two years ago.

My mother-in-law was a very humble person. Loving to a fault, generous and kindhearted. Much more than I had ever experienced with my own parents.

Many memories flood through my mind of the 30 years of close association with this unassuming, selfless woman. If she had a dollar and you needed it, she would give it to you without asking if she would be repaid.

One of her greatest joys was her grandchildren. She devoted many hours to their comfort and well-being. As her grandchildren grew older, it was always to Grandma that they went for help. And she was there to provide a helping hand, to listen to their problems and if they needed it, financial help.

She took great delight in baking sourdough bread and cinnamon rolls. Her kitchen and the aromas from it made your mouth water! As always, she would replenish her starter and if someone wanted to try her recipe she would give them some of her starter as well as the recipe. But nobody made the bread quite as good as my mother-in-law.

After these few years, the good qualities of hers still shine through and eclipse any shortcomings she may have had. Sadly, tears well up in my eyes and I get choked up remembering her passing.

There are many things I would tell her and do for her if she were alive today. But as always, hindsight is 20/20, and opportunity wasted is opportunity lost.

- Sent by son-in-law Gary Baker

Contact reporter Sonya Padgett
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