Caution is key when dating strangers

North Las Vegas resident BJ LeCates has been on a few memorable blind dates. The one that sticks with her was when her college roommate set her up with a near-stranger from work.

"She didn't really know him well," said LeCates, "just saw how he acted, and she said, 'I think he'd be really great with my roommate.' So she approached him and said, 'Do you have a girlfriend?' "

LeCates said the guy was reluctant to answer at first, partly because he thought the roommate was asking for herself, and he wasn't attracted to her.

"What do you say to some random girl who says, 'Do you have a girlfriend?' " LeCates asked.

The roommate invited the guy over to meet LeCates. He brought his roommate for backup, just in case the girls turned out to "be crazies or whatever."

Soon after the guys arrived, LeCates got a call from a boyfriend back in Las Vegas. She tried to be discreet and whisper to him in the other room. But her date heard everything and departed, leaving her roommate with a message.

"He said, if you're interested, meet him at the Palace tonight. It was a dance place," LeCates said. "So, I decided, I've got to drag my roommate with me, in case he's crazy. We danced, but the whole time, all he did was yawn and look at his watch."

They continued to date, and eventually BJ and Chris LeCates married, and she still bugs him about the yawning today. "He says he was just nervous," she explained.

There is plenty about dating strangers to make singles nervous. What do you wear? What about your hair? How do you chat without making a fool of yourself? What if she likes you, but you can't stand her?

But any time you decide to date someone you don't really know, there are bigger concerns to address.

The Las Vegas-based Rape Crisis Center provided a list of basic tips to consider before you set out on a blind date:

Share only as much information as you need to meet up. Get as much information about the other person as they're willing to share.

Tell someone you trust where you're going and who with. Arrange times to check in with them, and let them know if you change locations.

Apps like Circle of 6 help connect you to help if you need it while out.

Meet somewhere public that you're familiar with, and provide your own transportation.

If you decide to drink, do so in moderation. Arrange a safe ride home if you do drink, and don't go anywhere private with your date unless you're sober.

If you feel more drunk than you should given how much you've had to drink, get help from a security person, friend or employee immediately. You may have been drugged.

You are never obligated to engage in sexual activities, regardless of how much was spent on the date or how far they came to meet you.

If someone is encouraging you to drink more than you are used to or trying to get you to do something you don't want to do and won't take "no" for an answer, they're telling you how they view consent and boundaries.

Remember: Only yes means yes. Consent is freely given and not coerced. You cannot give consent if you are intoxicated or unconscious.

All of these rules apply even if your date was arranged by someone you know well and trust. More assaults are perpetrated by someone the victim knows either casually or through a friend. Proceed with caution.

Even Match.com, a company that accentuates the positive in introducing singles, recommends caution.

"Prepare an escape plan in case you need it," an article on the site recommended. "You want to have a graceful way of ending the evening early if necessary, such as if your date is entirely too aggressive or the two of you just don't mesh well. Coordinate with a friend to call your cell phone midway through the date in case you need an excuse to cut things short."

Though many imagine that assaults only happen between strangers in dark alleys, the truth is, strangers aren't the greatest risk.

According to a study of women ages 18 to 24 published by the U.S. Bureau of Justice in 2014, the offender was known to the victim in about 80 percent of rape and sexual assault victimizations. And the offender had a weapon in only about one in 10 rape and sexual assault victimizations.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, nearly one in five women and one in 71 men in the U.S. have been raped at some time in their lives and nearly one in two women and one in five men have experienced other forms of sexual violence victimization in their lifetime.

BJ and Chris LeCates were cautious, and BJ feels lucky that things turned out great. But even if they hadn't, she feels like she would have been ready.

"We brought our backup," she said. "I didn't know this guy."

To reach The Rape Crisis Center hotline, call 702-366-1640 or visit therapecrisiscenter.org.

— Contact View contributing reporter Ginger Meurer at gmeurer@viewnews.com. Find her on Twitter: @gingermmm