Religious find their own scenes
April 22, 2007 - 9:00 pm
Pure and Tao might be considered the hottest of the hot spots in Las Vegas, but some people prefer a singles climate with much lower temperatures. For those who spend their Sundays worshipping a spiritual figure and not a porcelain object, the venues in which to meet people aren't quite as plentiful, but they are out there.
It wasn't until entering the dating scene at age 45, after a divorce, that Sandy Abrams discovered the lack of venues available to her. "Living in Las Vegas, there are lots of different types of groups for singles but not if you have strong Christian values," she says. She came to that realization after going out a few times and getting looked at like she "had three heads."
Her idea of meeting people, she discovered, was in direct conflict with that of the single men she encountered. "For a lot of them, sex was part of the getting-to-know-you process," Abrams says. Call her old-fashioned, but she prefers to take things a little slower.
Refusing to believe there aren't good men in Las Vegas, Abrams sought out a singles group at Central Christian Church. A service for singles is conducted every Saturday night, Singles Nite Live, with a "cafe" time that follows in which members socialize at the church bookstore.
It took just one visit for Abrams to feel she had found that "safe place." She met and has been dating another member for a little more than a year but still attends the singles meetings. "A Christian relationship is different," she says. "It's great to have that support of others that are single and have been through the same thing."
Abrams was lucky to have met a match so quickly. For others, it's a process. One that Neil Popish, program director for the Jewish Community Center of Southern Nevada, knows all too well. Popish gets the ball rolling at the center's events for young singles. Without him, attendees might sit in silence for the duration.
"They're awkward or shy at first. They don't have social skills to meet people on their own," he says.
So they go to Popish, who arranges for them to go to a happy hour or other "social" event. Problem is, the socializing doesn't begin until the event is halfway over. That, combined with a lack of effort to establish something substantial -- "Most meetings end with them saying, 'See you at the next JCC meeting'" -- make for a low rate of love connections. How many exactly have there been? "Not many," Popish says. "I can't think of any, actually."
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hopes for better odds. It has one of the most proactive forums for its single members. There are six Web sites and at least 11 congregations across the valley dedicated to single Mormons. The reason, says Southern Nevada LDS spokesman Ace Robison, is twofold.
The first being a matter of inclusiveness. "We are such a family-oriented church," Robison says. "So our culture tends to be focused on families and tends to leave these people out. We try very hard to overcompensate and put in balance the needs of people who don't fall into this (family) category."
The second reason is a graver matter. "The time in a person's life where they are in the greatest spiritual danger is that period when they leave their parents' home and find their own way," Robison says. "We feel it is tremendously important that we find mechanisms like (singles groups), or whatever else, to reach out and put our arms around those people."
Whether they're college students or newly divorced, single Mormons hoping to meet other single Mormons are not at a loss.
They are divided into two groups: the Young Single Adults, 18 to 30, and the Single Adults, 30 and older. Most of the activities are organized according to interests of subgroups. The subgroups are informal and are arranged by the members themselves. Everything from movies to hiking to game nights are part of the social functions.
"(The groups) serve both a practical, spiritual function and a practical, social function," Robison says. "It allows them to meet people of like mind with similar interests."