Pint-sized wedding guests: Yay or nay?

(BPT) - It’s one of the most debated aspects of any wedding: Should children be invited? Some argue children add to the magic of the event while others prefer to keep the potential tantrums far from their big day. Ultimately it’s up to the couple to decide what is right for them, and with the proper etiquette, it’s simple to communicate to guests exactly what they want without offending anyone.

Remember, when deciding whether to invite children, it’s not necessarily an all-or-nothing decision. Some people choose to include children of immediate family, such as nieces, nephews and godchildren, but not the children of family further removed. The wedding experts at Invitations by Dawn note the key to clear communication starts with the wording on the invitations.

The outer envelopes
The main purpose of the outer envelope is for mailing. Guests should be referred to by title, first and last names – no need to mention children. For example, Mr. and Mrs. Chris Jones, or, Mrs. Sara Nelson and Mr. Jon Jefferson, followed by the address.

The inner envelopes
The inner envelope holds the invitation and is where you can specify who exactly is invited to the wedding and reception. For adults-only events, list just those names. If you want children invited also, list the parents’ names and then underneath that, list children’s first names from oldest to youngest.

For specific examples of proper wording for inner and outer envelopes, visit www.InvitationsbyDawn.com.

The invitations
In addition to the envelopes, some couples who decide not to invite children add a notation on the invitation that reiterates their request. For example, a small asterisk in the bottom right hand corner that states: * No children please, or * Adults-only reception.

No matter how clearly you think you’ve worded the invitation, you may receive responses that include people who were not invited. In this case, the best thing to do is to pick up the phone and talk with the guest one-on-one to explain the situation. Simply state you weren’t able to invite everyone’s children but are hoping the adults can still come. You may choose to explain your parameters for the restriction, such as limited space or that you are inviting just the children of immediate family members. Most people are understanding and will be grateful for the personal call.