Hill: Centennial alum overcomes doubt, proves he belongs with Raiders

Jonah Laulu not only beat the odds by making the Raiders as a rookie after being waived by the Colts during the preseason last year, he played in all 17 games and drew rave reviews from his teammates and coaches.

It was something out of a storybook for the Centennial High School alum to be making a name for himself for his hometown team in the NFL.

Laulu proved he belongs at this level to just about everyone except himself.

“I really struggled with impostor syndrome,” Laulu shared after participating in teammate Maxx Crosby’s Sack Summit this week. “I’m coming in as a fan of the game and I’m a fan of all these guys, and I’m constantly feeling like I don’t belong. Like I really felt like I was just a kid they let in the building, and I don’t know what I’m doing but they just haven’t figured it out yet.”

It’s a term that has continued to gain traction, but one that is more a psychological phenomenon than an actual disorder. Yet it’s very real and can be stifling, leaving individuals to doubt themselves and their achievements and putting them in constant fear of being exposed as having fraudulently secured their place.

Can’t take compliments

All of the praise directed at Laulu wasn’t helping at all.

“I have this weird thing about me where when someone compliments me, I think they’re lying,” Laulu said. “Like, they’re almost making fun of me.”

The effects of impostor syndrome are no joke, but they aren’t necessarily permanent. Recognition of it is a good sign. Opening up about it is an even better one.

A key aspect of imposter syndrome is that it took many years to identify and study because so few people were willing to admit they felt like frauds out of fear of actually being exposed. So the feelings were internalized even more.

That’s bad enough at an hourly job, but could certainly be magnified in a hyper-confident setting like an NFL locker room.

Laulu, however, also feels like he is in a fostering environment.

By all accounts, he has had a tremendous offseason. Even he admits things are going well right now. But the messaging remains important.

“There was one practice I had where, I don’t know, I was just tearing it up,” the 24-year-old said. “I was out there just making plays, executing my job. I’m all over the backfield. I just started thinking, ‘You know what? Maybe I do belong.’

“Obviously there’s still those moments where you might do something wrong or you might get blocked. But it’s just about how you finish, and I feel like I’m making really positive strides both mentally and physically establishing myself on this team. I feel like I’m tearing up entire practice periods and like causing mayhem. It definitely feels good.”

But it was a post-minicamp text from assistant defensive line coach Kenyon Jackson that proved to be a key moment mentally.

“He told me how he felt like I was getting so much better and he can’t wait to see what I do this season,” Laulu said. “But he also sent me some things I have to work on and things I have to fix. That made it feel more real to me for some reason. It meant a lot.”

‘It’s all mental’

Laulu isn’t completely past his battle, but he understands it more and believes further strengthening his bond with his teammates is helping.

Last year, he felt like one bad rep in a practice would have everyone looking around and wondering why he was even on the team. Now he knows he can just make the right play on the next rep and move on. It’s a powerful feeling and one he believes is going to help his career take off.

“It’s crazy to me how different my mindset is, and nothing has really changed physically,” he said. “It’s all mental. I hate watching my film from last year because I would be going out there playing so slow because I would be in my head thinking, ‘I just don’t want to mess up.’ Now I’m not as nervous. I can just go out there and play. I’m feeling really good going into training camp.

“I’m out here doing things at practice that I should have been doing last year, but I had to get over that hump or whatever it was in my mind.”

His goal is to be so good that even he has to acknowledge he might be for real.

Contact Adam Hill at ahill@reviewjournal.com. Follow @AdamHillLVRJ on X.