‘Meet the Mets,’ indeed: A guide to 51s’ next minor league incarnation

So if the reports and rumors and supposition and innuendo are to be trusted - and there are less than two outs and the infield fly rule is in effect - it's probable/possible/fat chance the Toronto Blue Jays might be moving their Triple-A affiliation from Las Vegas to Buffalo when the player development contracts expire Sept. 16, and the New York Mets might be moving theirs from Buffalo to Las Vegas.

As far as lopsided trades go, this isn't exactly Broglio for Brock in 1964. Or even Blake Stein and former UNLV Rebels T.J. Mathews and Eric Ludwick for Mark McGwire in 1997.

The parent Blue Jays are 60-73 and 16 games out of first place; the parent Mets are 64-70 and 17½ games back. True, the Jays have one of baseball's top-rated farm systems. But these days, the top prospects mostly skip Triple-A.

So in terms of prestige and whatnot, this is sort of like trading a utility infielder for a utility outfielder, with no players to be named later.

This is why when I tried to come up with 10 reasons to be at least marginally titillated by the prospect of the Mets moving their Triple-A command post to Cashman Field, a slow walk to the mound was made and the bullpen summoned.  

1. The Buffalo manager is Wally Backman, who used a certain F-word (not "fungo") 35 times in less than two minutes during this infamous YouTube rant when he was skipper of the South Georgia Peanuts. While using the F-word 35 times in 120 seconds might seem a bit excessive - except, perhaps, for Billy Martin and Ralphie's old man in "A Christmas Story" - sometimes you've gotta light a fire under guys. Now get the fungo outta here.

2. When one does a Google search for Wally Backman, the little picture that comes up on the right-hand side of the screen is a police mugshot.

3. Also, when one does a Google search for Wally Backman, the first of the five little pictures that comes up under his picture as "People also search for" heading is Lenny Dykstra, and Nails has this fat chaw of tobacco hanging out of his mouth, or at least something that looks like a fat chaw of tobacco. And nothing says "old school baseball" like a fat chaw of tobacco.

4. If the Mets' Triple-A team moves to Las Vegas, there's a chance the Mets themselves will play an exhibition game at Cashman Field during Big League Weekend. And then perhaps Mr. Met, the Mets' mascot, will appear. Mr. Met also is old school, having served as the Mets' mascot off and on since 1963. His Wikipedia biography describes Mr. Met as a "man with a large baseball for a head." Come to think of it, Mr. Met is kind of creepy, in a Chucky-in-the-toy-store kind of way.

5. Lee Mazzilli used to play for the Mets, and in 1979, when he hit a game-tying, pinch-hit home run down the left-field line off Jim Kern - and then drew a bases-loaded walk in the ninth inning to bring home the winning run in the All-Star Game - he was the last favorite ballplayer I ever remember having. So perhaps I might be able to work him into another story somehow. For instance, some Italian guy might propose to his sweetheart after one too many $1 beers on "Thirsty Thursday," and that will sort of remind me of "Tony n' Tina's Wedding" and that, in turn, will remind me of Lee Mazzilli, who once played Tony in the Off-Broadway production.

6. No more "O Canada." Don't get me wrong. I love the Canadian national anthem. It's stirring and it inspires. Every time I hear it, I want to check somebody into the boards. But it adds a couple of minutes onto every game, and these 12-9 Pacific Coast League slugfests take long enough without standing on guard for thee.

7. If the Mets move their Triple-A affiliate to Las Vegas, they'll probably want a new nickname, and it'll take some getting used to. But hopefully not as long as it took getting used to "51s."

8. The parent Mets play in the National League, and that means no more designated hitter at Cashman Field. And this is a good thing, because whereas Wally Backman and Mr. Met and a chaw of tobacco are old-school baseball, the DH is a gimmick - a way for old guys who no longer can field their position to prolong their careers. Such as Chili Davis.

9. When the Mets' Triple-A franchise used to be called the Tidewater Tides, it remained rooted in one place for 38 years - regardless of the batting cage situation.

10. It could be worse. It could be the Astros. In fact, it might be the Astros.

The Astros' player development contract with Oklahoma City also is soon to expire, and Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark, located in the Oklahoma City Bricktown district, is thoroughly more modern than Cashman Field. I'm told it has nice batting cages.

Uh-oh.

Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ron Kantowski can be reached at rkantowski@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0352. Follow him on Twitter: @ronkantowski.