Henderson women share joys, challenges of being a mom

There is a sense of power that comes with motherhood.

“I feel invincible,” said Tamara Braxton Watson, whose son turned 1 in February. “I feel like I am woman, hear me roar.”

Stephanie Garcia-Vause also resonates with a feeling of accomplishment that comes from creating life.

“You don’t know what you or your body are capable of, and the thought of giving life is pretty powerful,” she explained. “Your instincts to take care and protect this life start at pregnancy and only get greater when your baby arrives.”

As Mother’s Day approaches, Henderson mothers discuss the joys of being a parent and the advice for carrying the title “Mom.’

“It’s such a blessing,” Garcia-Vause said. “It gives you a new appreciation of life.”

BEING PREGNANT

Garcia-Vause gave birth to her second child, Vanessa, March 26.

“It was a little bit different than the first time,” she said.

With her first child, Olivia, who is now 2, Garcia-Vause was focused on being prepared.

The nursery needed to be ready weeks early. She had to read as much as possible, whether it was about what to expect while being pregnant or what to eat.

“I bought about a dozen books,” she said.

Everything went along smoothly for her.

“It was a pretty boring pregnancy,” she said. “No fun stories like my water broke during a meeting.”

Watson’s story was different. After years of waiting, she and her husband, Joseph, knew it was time to start a family. Because she was 38, she was aware that there could be complications.

“It was high risk because of my age,” she said.

One complication that occurred during pregnancy was being put on bed rest at 20 weeks.

“It was the worst thing ever because I’m so social,” she said. “But then I was reminded what I was doing –– creating life.”

About 10 weeks into bed rest, Watson woke up at 3 a.m. with a pain.

Not sure if it was labor, she rushed herself to the hospital.

“The wonderful wife I am, I let my husband sleep,” she said. “He woke up at 7 a.m. and thought I was downstairs.”

Watson was going through contractions and was admitted to the hospital. She finally called her husband, who was upset that she didn’t wake him up.

She remained on hospital bed rest and gave birth to her baby, Joey, at 31 weeks on Valentine’s Day.

Her husband was on his way to a dental appointment when he got the call that she was in labor.

The doctor reached him before he was given anesthesia.

“Someone was watching over us,” Watson said. “Could you have imagined? He would have missed the whole thing.”

Watson said Joey was born in three pushes.

“I wanted an epidural,” she said. “I’ve always been the type that if there is an excuse to take something to help with the pain, give it to me.”

She didn’t know it at the time, but Joey was taken into the neonatal intensive care unit. Watson was released days later, but Joey had to stay.

Over the next month, it was hard watching her son in an incubator every day.

“I was probably that mother every nurse hates,” she said. “With every noise that went off or tube I saw, I had a question.”

Whether it was a month or a day later, both mothers said there was some anxiety knowing they could bring their child home.

COMING HOME

It is a nerve-racking experiencing leaving the hospital.

“For everything you do in life, you have to take a test,” Garcia-Vause said. “You learn to drive, you take a test. Not with this. They are entrusting us to take this life home.”

For their first child, Garcia-Vause and her husband, Evan, would take turns checking the baby, sticking a mirror underneath her nose to see fog to make sure she was still alive.

“It was silly stuff,” she said.

When Olivia was awake, she played only classical music and made family members watch television shows with closed captioning.

“I didn’t want the baby to be influenced by the TV,” she said.

The biggest misconception Garcia-Vause came across was the time component.

She had set aside fiction books and painting supplies just in case she had time.

“I was told that babies sleep all the time,” she said. “I thought I was going to be so bored.”

Watson knew that the sleep schedule would be hard to manage.

“But nothing really prepares you for how little sleep you get,” Watson said.

LESSONS LEARNED

Being on bed rest, Watson spent a lot of time buying things online.

“Joe would come home and there would be another box,” she said.

However, Watson hasn’t used half the items she purchased for her baby, something she wished she had known while pregnant.

Garcia-Vause has since relinquished many of her books on pregnancy and newborns.

“This pregnancy was a lot more relaxed,” she said. “All you really need are diapers.”

Even with Joey in the neonatal unit, Watson wished she would have been more calm and realized her son was in good hands.

“I wish I would have enjoyed every moment,” she said. “I wish I wouldn’t have been as stressed or asked so many questions when he was in the best care.”

Garcia-Vause doesn’t fret as much over checking her new daughter while she is sleeping to make sure she is alive in the middle of the night.

“When the baby sleeps, we try to get some sleep,” Garcia-Vause said.

Of all the advice they have learned along the way, the biggest lesson learned is how much of a blessing it is to be a mother.

“I’ve heard the phrase ‘the miracle of life’ before, and I never took it lightly,” Garcia-Vause said. “When you experience it, you realize it truly is a miracle.”

MOTHERHOOD

Garcia-Vause and Watson are both busy with careers, but things have changed for them since motherhood.

“It has been a 180-degree change,” Watson said about the dynamics of life after giving birth. “Before, I used to work hard and play hard. After work, I would often go to happy hour and go out and be social.”

Now, it’s off to pick up Joey, who tags along with her to events.

“Before, I never hung out with mothers because we had nothing in common,” she said. “Now, I seek them out.”

Garcia-Vause said life is a little more scheduled, with fewer chances of picking up the phone at a moment’s notice to go out for a spontaneous dinner with friends.

“I don’t know what I used to do with my free time,” Garcia-Vause said.

Watson added that life centers around providing for her child, and if she had time to herself she would go shopping.

“Instead of buying a pair of expensive jeans for me or new shoes, my thing is buying new things for him,” she said.

Motherhood has taught Watson and Garcia-Vause about flexibility and about being grateful.

Since her first daughter was born, Garcia-Vause has longed to have her family closer.

“I left home for college at 17, then moved to Las Vegas after college and never really thought about moving back (to California),” she said. “Suddenly, I began remembering how nice it was growing up being close to grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.”

For Watson, even if it seems as if there is little energy, she always manages.

At 4 a.m. she might wake up because of Joey and know it’s going to be a long, tiring day.

“But then I look at him and he smiles,” she said, “and I know that I am blessed.”

Contact Henderson/Anthem View reporter Michael Lyle at mlyle@viewnews.com or 702-387-5201.