When we set a value or a goal, we incur an obligation to move toward that goal. Most people think of the process of moving toward the goal as a set of transactions. Actions that move us toward the goal are credits. Actions that move us away from the goal are debits.

When is the right time to introduce the children to the new mate? This is a question that I always ask myself.

I know a businessman in a lifelong love affair with Japan. He studies and admires the culture and history. He studies the language, the customs and traditions. His relationship with Japan reminds me of my maternal grandmother’s cosmic “crush” on Mexico. These are the kinds of people who make you want to believe in previous lives.

As I read your comments, you are in favor of “diluting and/or distorting” the institution of marriage.

In 1960, Random House published “Are You My Mother?” by P.D. Eastman. I was 3 then, and it is the first book I ever remember reading.

Recently, I offered up some speculations and musings about gay marriage in America.

Apparently I’m the last to hear about any cyberspace phenomena. A little research suggests I’m the 27-million-and-ninth person to see The Dove Beauty Sketches. If you, too, are a member of Not Cyberhip of America, you can watch the video right on YouTube.

Interesting article and actually a pretty popular and mainstream view on the issue (“We can work hard, but our starting point influences our fate,” Human Matters, April 14, 2013).

Here’s how I read the sociocultural tea leaves: If you’re fighting in the army that’s waging war against gay marriage, or, said another way, if you understand yourself to be fighting to protect and preserve the institution of marriage from being diluted, distorted or otherwise offended by including homosexual partners … well, I strongly encourage you to run a white flag up the flagpole right now. Stop the metaphorical scorched earth bombing runs. Give up. Quit.

A man that I met loves your words, and I was grateful to you to have helped him through the most difficult time of his life.

The single weightiest and greatest predictor of outcome is the starting point. That’s what all the social scientists say. And they are correct. Statistically and otherwise.

I’ve heard you say that a spiritual gift is not chosen, precisely because it’s a gift. So then, would you consider chastity a gift?

Rex crafts and tells stories the way a jukebox plays music. Except you don’t have to put money in Rex. Just sit with him awhile and he’ll tell you a story. Actually, I don’t think he can help it, in much the same way as Robin Williams can’t always decide when and where to erupt into stand-up comedy. Rex’s gift (amongst many gifts) is to see the human experience in stories. He sees the world in parables.

The last article I read of yours talked about being happy. Contentment and peace. It reminded me of a question I would like to ask you. What do you think of the author Deepak Chopra? And his philosophy?

Shooting to the top of my list of “The Five Culinary Proofs for the Existence of Satan” is Peeps. Peeps are evil. They peer at me with innocent expressions through the cellophane on the box, suggesting warm nostalgia, joy and friendship. But I’m not fooled. It hurts my teeth just to look at them.

And what do you do when your spouse is an active alcoholic, refuses to admit that she is alcoholic, goes to AA to please others but hates the meeting because all they talk about is God. Lost her job because of drinking and is getting unemployment and refuses to seriously look for employment, probably because she’s drunk.

The adults who raised me used the word “shame” with some frequency. More specifically, the female adults. As in “Shame on you!” Or the rhetorical reproof, “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself!” Where I come from, women — grandmothers, mothers, aunties and schoolteachers — used “shame” this way more often than men.

I disagree with you. My son was a straight A student in high school, a college graduate and came out as gay with no family angst. My nieces and nephews, however, the boys are in jail and the girls are making babies before 20. I think they were raised the way their parents were raised. I live with my mother and she loves babies but not children.

Think about the times that friends, family and colleagues have urged you to “just be yourself.” It sounds so encouraging and affirming. And, sometimes it is just that. Encouraging and affirming. An authentic invitation to truly set yourself free in your own identity. An urging from someone whose only desire is to welcome you and include you, perhaps because they really like and admire you, or perhaps because the person doing the urging believes welcoming and including is a way of life. The right thing to do. Some people just place a high value on welcoming and including.

I hear this bromide a lot these days: “Those less fortunate than ourselves.” I just sort of let it roll off my back without thinking. Upon closer inspection though, I think this seemingly harmless phrase carries some rather nasty implications ...

Upon arriving at KNPR-FM radio’s studio, all I knew about Carol Graham is that she’d written a book about happiness. But, in the first six minutes of the live radio show, Graham used two words I’d never heard before, which is always a whiz for me.

Close your eyes and picture boiling water being poured on your privates. I am guessing it is a very unpleasant picture, and not one normally associated with the pleasant, warm feelings and pictures associated with hot coffee.

When Sigmund Freud presented his life’s work to Western civilization, everything changed. A cultural savant, Freud’s psychoanalytic theories rewired our world view of individuals, relationships and especially child-rearing.

There are two schools of thought to French press coffeemakers. One is to bring water to near boil. The other is to bring the water to a savage, rolling boil. I belong to the latter school.

Sooner or later, redemption becomes everyone’s story