No Jay Leno- or David Letterman-themed thuggery jokes intended, but the figurative gun has been pointed squarely at the head of Mayor Oscar Goodman: Build a multipurpose arena, ultimatum-packin' commissioner David Stern said Sunday, or don't expect to see another All-Star Game -- let alone an NBA franchise -- come to your city.

The Thomas & Mack Center, where the West trounced the East 153-132 Sunday night, just doesn't cut it, Stern said. Not even for a meaningless All-Star Game, a playground contest that is nothing more than a lighthearted anticlimax to a four-day weekend entertainment orgy.

Too small. Too costly to retrofit. Too much work on the NBA's part to make it showcase-friendly.

Having spent his prepolitical career as a criminal defense attorney, defending a "Sopranos"-filled season of gun-toting individuals with rap sheets longer than Kevin Garnett's wingspan, Goodman has considerable experience dealing with intense, win-or-lose-big situations such as the one Stern presents. But does he have the acumen, the connections, the clout, to get built a new state-of-the-art arena -- somewhere in the $500 million range and rising in cost by the day -- without using public funds, as he has promised so many times in the past?

Granted, Goodman's grand plan to make Las Vegas a viable NBA candidate for a franchise -- to be presented to Stern by late March, and then to the commissioner's bosses, the NBA Board of Governors, by late April -- begins with that not-so-minor matter of how to clear the league's anti-wagering hurdle.

If that issue isn't resolved to everyone's satisfaction, the whole deal goes from hurdle to hamstrung -- funding available for a half-billion-dollar arena or not.

But for the sake of argument, let's say the wagering issue can be hammered out. Admittedly, a huge if. So, then, is there a reasonable way to get an arena funded that doesn't tax the public and doesn't tax the gaming industry, which is lukewarm, at best, to the idea of a sports franchise? (Remember, casino owners like to keep their heavy hitters in-house, not in an arena for three hours during prime gaming time.)

Goodman previously has said that he has five separate groups of investors interested in spearheading the funding, although he refuses to list names or any specifics. The mayor is good at being short on specifics at the same time he is long -- and long-winded -- on generalities.

Perhaps he indeed does have individuals willing to pony up the gross national product of Togo to build an arena. Or maybe he's in discussion with any of a number of national corporations who would be willing to invest a fortune in the form of a naming rights fee. Heck, the University of Phoenix paid $154.5 million last year for the naming rights to the $455 million football stadium in Glendale, Ariz., where the Cardinals play and Super Bowl XLII will be held next February, so apparently there are corporate dollars out there.

The fact that Stern took such a -- ahem -- stern stance on not bringing the All-Star Game back to Las Vegas until a suitable new arena is built came as a complete shock. I, for one, expected him to announce Sunday that the 2009 game would return here, following next year's game in rebuilding New Orleans.

Now, it appears Orlando, Fla., is the front-runner for 2009. Las Vegas? Not even in the picture for the foreseeable future.

Which is a shame, really, because nobody does "party" like our little den of decadence.

But with Stern's early-week call for a plan from Goodman that would address what the city -- and the state, too, you would think -- will do about betting on games, All-Star or otherwise, followed by his definitive statement Sunday of "No," the league's midseason showcase game won't ever return to the Thomas & Mack, it appears the commissioner is telling our mayor to give him something firm to work with or give up on the idea of making Las Vegas an NBA city.

In a game of high-stakes sports poker, Stern is holding pocket aces and Goodman is holding, well ... while we can't see his cards, let's just say something considerably less.

"I hope the All-Star Game comes back here soon because I had a lot of fun," Phoenix Suns center Amare Stoudemire said innocently, after scoring 29 points for the West squad.

Perhaps the most accurate quote came, oddly, in the form of Wayne Newton's signature song, which Mr. Las Vegas sung as part of the night's pregame festivities:

"Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen.

"Thank you for seeing me again.

"Though we go on our separate ways,

"Still the memory stays, for always, my heart says, danke schoen.

"Danke schoen. Auf wiedersehn. Danke schoen."

Auf wiedersehn, NBA All-Star Game. And, danke schoen, too.

Joe Hawk is the Review-Journal's sports editor. He can be reached at 387-2912 or jhawk@reviewjournal.com.