Want an inspirational flick to fire up your team? Forget “Rocky,” “Rudy” or “Remember the Titans.” First-year Brooklyn Nets coach Jason Kidd plans to use “The Matrix” to motivate his squad.
Good luck with that. What better way to inspire aging stars Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce than by showing them a film famous for its slow-motion “bullet time” special effects.
A plethora of Twitter users poked fun at Kidd and how his use of “The Matrix” as a motivational tool will play out:
“Lots of people die in that movie.”
“No one makes the jump the first time, rook.” — Kevin Garnett, before throwing Mason Plumlee off a rooftop.
Final play “Kevin, close your eyes and throw the ball wherever” “Nobody’s ever tried that before” “That’s why it’s going to work.” *Chills*
If “The Matrix” doesn’t motivate the Nets, Kidd can always try “Grumpy Old Men.”
The Spurs will be comprised of “Grumpier Old Men” if they don’t win it all this season and the Lakers will only feature “A Few Good Men” — starring superfan Jack Nicholson — after Dwight Howard went “Runaway Bride” on them and bolted to the Rockets.
Houston can always watch “Apollo 13” if, you know, it has a problem, and the Clippers will be pumped to play for “Doc Hollywood,” aka ex-Celtics coach Doc Rivers.
The Heat will be primed for a threepeat after watching “The King’s Speech” — in which King James says after winning his second straight NBA title, “I’m LeBron James. From Akron, Ohio. From the inner city. I’m not even supposed to be here.”
For proper motivation, the New Orleans Pelicans need only watch “Scarface” to hear Tony Montana say, “Manny, look at the pelican fly! C’mon, pelican!”
■ CONCUSSIONS AND WOODPECKERS — Not to make light of blows to the head, but Florida coach Will Muschamp sounded like he’d taken too many of them when he went off on a tangent about woodpeckers and concussions during the Gators’ media day.
“A woodpecker is never going to have a concussion. I bet you didn’t know that. That’s a true story. They have an extra bone in their neck and they never can have a concussion,” he said. “You learn something new every day. My point being is everyone’s different.”
Muschamp was talking about a player recovering from an injury when he segued into talking about Mickey Collins, a concussion expert who recently spoke with the team, and the strange-but-true fact about woodpeckers.
When, incredibly, Muschamp was asked a follow-up question about the woodpecker, he provided an interesting description of a concussion.
“Concussions happen because your head is like an egg, and the yolk is your brain,” he said.
We don’t know about you, but we’re ready for some bacon and eggs, sunny side up.
■ DRIVEN TO DRINK — New York coach Rex Ryan recently took a photo with a fan who was wearing a Jets T-shirt with the phrase “This team makes me drink.”
“(Ryan) looked at it and laughed,” Joseph Grinwis said. “He didn’t make a comment. He just laughed.”
Ryan was just grateful Grinwis wasn’t wearing a “ButtFumble” shirt.
COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL