Lock up the children, Miami, the NFL is coming to town.
More precisely, the halftime entertainment for the league's showcase event will be in the area.
Residents and schools near Sun Life Stadium have been receiving postcards indicating that a sex offender will be in the vicinity, according to the "Page 2 Live" blog affiliated with the Palm Beach (Fla.) Post.
The warnings indicate that Pete Townshend of The Who "will be at large in Miami on February 7th when he arrives to perform at the Super Bowl."
Townshend, 63, was arrested in 2003 in England and accused of cruising online sites for photos of child sex. He was never convicted but was placed on the country's list of sexual offenders.
Townshend claimed at the time he was just doing research for a book.
A child advocacy group called Protect Our Children sent out the postcards. Several South Florida child abuse organizations reportedly asked the NFL to prevent Townshend from performing, but the league said it would not ban him because he was never convicted of a crime.
So that means accused child porn viewers are acceptable as halftime entertainment, but images of gambling or casinos during commercials is out of the question.
At least we know where the line is drawn.
• NO DAMME CHANCE -- Action star Jean Claude Van Damme recently restated his desire to compete in a professional kickboxing match against former Olympic boxer Somluck Kamsing.
According to cagewriter.com, the original plan called for the 49-year-old star of such cinematic classics as "Bloodsport" and "Hard Target" to appear at a K-1 event in Las Vegas. That was never going to happen in Nevada or any other state with a legitimate athletic commission.
The fight will now apparently go down in Macau.
No word on whether it will be available on pay per view, or if it will just be released straight to video, like most of Van Damme's recent films.
• MR. SENSITIVE -- The Saints' appearance in the Super Bowl is a bit of good news for a city still reeling from the devastation of Hurricane Katrina almost five years ago.
It's a feel-good moment for the people of New Orleans.
Apparently, Shawn Springs thinks that makes it a good time to make jokes about one of the worst natural disasters in our nation's history.
The New England Patriots cornerback, whose team was beaten by both Super Bowl participants this season, appeared as a guest on ESPN's First Take on Wednesday and was asked which team he would rather avoid as an opponent in the Super Bowl.
"If it was me, I would hope a hurricane comes through," Springs said with a laugh.
To be fair, Springs was probably just trying to convey that it would be easier to cover the explosive passing attacks if bad weather struck on game day.
But you can't make that joke when Katrina has been so much of the story line for the Super Bowl.
COMPILED BY ADAM HILL LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL