WRAPPED ATTENTION
Few professional mine fields conceal more booby traps than workplace gift-giving at the holidays.
From blowing out the bank account on gifts for countless co-workers to inadvertently giving chocolate to diabetics, the possibilities for fiscal and career sabotage are virtually unlimited.
Here, etiquette experts, and business executives who've safely traversed the combat zone, offer guidelines on dodging the biggest office-gifting perils.
Know the traditions
Your first task is to determine your company's gift-giving culture, said Jodi Smith, president of Boston-based etiquette consultant Mannersmith.
If you're new to a business, or even if you've worked there a while and you've noticed gifting inconsistencies from year to year, ask other staff members about holiday practices and policies. Some operations prohibit seasonal gift-swapping among workers. Others, such as financial businesses or stock brokerages, trade lavish presents that would be out of place at a smaller firm or a nonprofit. Skipping out on giving altogether can be career suicide at still other organizations.
Be sure you query several co-workers for advice on how to proceed. Ask just one, and you risk stumbling across the lone office grump who abhors holiday gift exchanges and downplays the season's workplace festivities.
Who gives, who receives?
General etiquette rules call for giving gifts to subordinates and peers, but not to supervisors, Smith said. (Sorry, boss. Now we have an excuse, and we're stickin' to it.)
Most businesses actually prohibit underlings from giving presents to managers. That's because some workers can afford pricier gifts than others can, and that disparity could generate a perception of unequal treatment.
"It's seen as trying to curry favor, and that leads to all sorts of moral hazards," Smith said. "If I give a better gift, do I get a bigger bonus?"
If employees are bound and determined to buy a gift for a supervisor, they should band together to purchase one present, said Colleen Rickenbacher, a Dallas etiquette expert and author of "Be on Your Best Business Behavior." That eliminates one-upmanship, and the united buying power means the workers can afford a more sizable gift. Rickenbacher recommends gift certificates for goods and services a supervisor can share with his family -- dinners out, for example, or an item to enjoy at home.
For bosses, it's important to spend and give equitably. Don't drop $10 on one employee and $40 on another. Ideally, your charges will all receive the same gift.
Hitting the right notes
Worse than spending unevenly is handing over an inappropriate present.
"Believe it or not, a lot of people still don't realize that gifts carry messages," Smith said. "You have to be very careful about the message you're sending."
An employee who likes lotions and soaps might head to a bath-and-beauty shop to pick up some salves for a fellow staffer. To most people, said Smith, that innocent gesture says one thing: "I think you smell."
The safest practice is to avoid any gift that touches the skin: perfumes, bath gels, lotions, lingerie and jewelry. And skip the alcohol, too. A worker might be a recovering alcoholic, or she might have religious or cultural beliefs that forbid drinking.
Even seemingly traditional gifts can offend. In some Asian cultures, clocks or watches are taboo because they indicate you're counting the minutes to someone's death, Smith said.
Take cues on appropriate gifts from an employee's workplace surroundings. If a staff member has a family portrait tacked to his cubicle wall, pick up a picture frame for the photo. If another employee bikes to work, consider giving her a backpack designed specially for laptops. Think about what a worker needs to do her job, and give accordingly. A receptionist might enjoy an attractive candy jar, along with new candies to set out each month, Smith said. And you don't have to be a receptionist to appreciate that particular bit of benevolence. Teachers, loan officers, salespeople and even, um, newspaper reporters could all benefit from fresh sweets every month.
Also, engage employees in casual conversations throughout the year to gauge their basic likes and dislikes.
Jenè Hansen, director of managed care and marketing for Comprehensive Cancer Centers of Nevada, continually searches out clues on the hobbies her department's five employees pursue outside the office. Through the hunt for such details, Hansen learned that one of her workers enjoyed baking, so she bought the employee a cookie-making appliance.
Fountain pens, stationery, business-card holders, leather portfolios and even umbrellas are also suitable workplace gifts. Then there are the presents most everyone can use: Lottery tickets, for example, or gift cards for coffee and tea shops.
Plus, the no-skin-touching rule isn't sacrosanct. Exceptions include T-shirts with the company logo and jewelry that goes to an entire staff, Rickenbacher said.
Hansen once gave each of her staff members silver bracelets engraved with their names -- a proper gift because the trinkets went to all employees.
Nevada Public Radio keeps it light -- and affordable -- with its annual white-elephant gift party.
The exchange is limited to gag gifts, such as a James Brown doll that sings and dances, a "Sleep-N-Snore" Ernie doll retooled to reel off the long version of Nevada Public Radio's translator identification and a 30-year-old picture of organization founder Lamar Marchese. The gifts recirculate every year, and they're traded during a companywide potluck lunch.
"It's silly, it's fun, it's light-hearted," said Flo Rogers, Nevada Public Radio's general manager. "We try to keep things from being too serious. We work in the knowledge business, and we all already have plenty of stuff."
Giving to others
Sometimes, say etiquette experts, the surest approach to avoiding the pressures of holiday gifting is to ditch such exchanges altogether.
Too much seasonal gift-swapping in the office comes from misplaced eagerness that would be better directed outside the company, Smith said. It's important to understand and respect the boundaries between the personal and the professional, and, if employees prefer, to focus instead on meaningful ways to help the community.
Rather than holding a Secret Santa gift exchange with presents for employees, conduct a gift event for a children's charity. Set a dollar limit and ask workers to bring in a toy for the nonprofit. Or close the department down for a couple of hours at the end of one day and take everyone over to a soup kitchen to volunteer.
"Don't not do anything, but take that enthusiasm and put it somewhere where it will really be appreciated," Smith said.
Rickenbacher suggested giving workers time off to serve as bell-ringers for the Salvation Army, or inside local hospitals reading to sick children.
"Give a little bit of your heart as opposed to spending money," she said.
Before you upend your company's long-held holiday traditions, though, put the new ideas to a vote.
"You need consensus," Rickenbacher said. "If employees want to do both (gift exchanges and charity), let them do both."
Contact reporter Jennifer Robison at jrobison@reviewjournal.com or (702) 380-4512.
WHAT WOULD AN ETIQUETTE MAVEN DO? The holidays should be festive and fun, but one gift-giving faux pas in the office can sink the season's spirit. Here are a few tips from manners experts on handling some sticky scenarios: An employee suggests a departmental gift exchange. There are reasons many people's eyes glaze over when a co-worker suggests a gift swap or "Secret Santa" event: It's tough to shop specifically for someone they don't know very well, and they dread getting a gift they might not like or use. That's why it's essential to allow people to opt out hassle-free, said Jodi Smith, president of Mannersmith in Boston. Also, provide other ways for reluctant participants to play a role. Ask them if they'd prefer to collect contributions to a charity, or bring in baked goods for employees to eat during the gift trade. Either way, ask all office members, including the company Scrooge, if they want to join the gift exchange. Never assume anyone is or isn't interested. Some departments within Comprehensive Cancer Centers of Nevada smooth out their Secret Santa festivities by sending out advance surveys to employees. The questionnaires ask for hobbies, favorite colors and preferred foods. A $20 limit per gift keeps a lid on expenses. A co-worker gives you a present, but you didn't buy him one. Don't rush out to the corner store and grab a reciprocal gift. The slapdash effort is too obvious, Smith said. Instead, hand-write a heartfelt thank-you card, and remember that office relationships aren't quid pro quo. Most people give because they want to, not because they expect something back. If you still want to return the sentiment, think about ways you can help a generous co-worker throughout the year -- staying late one night to help with a big project, for example. Your department has more than 10 staff members. Once your division's employee count leaves the single digits, buying gifts for everyone becomes a costly proposition. A gift swap is one alternative. Better yet, said Smith, consider bringing in one present for everyone -- a giant box of gourmet chocolates, a big fruit basket or a large batch of home-baked cookies. You have a handful of co-workers who've become good friends. It's natural to grow closer to some fellow employees than to others. If a few of your workplace relationships have transformed beyond working hours into friendships complete with family events and get-togethers, it's OK to buy such friends pricier or more-personal gifts than you might pick up for other co-workers. Just be sure you exchange those gifts outside the office
