The 14 ‘Entourage’-iest things about the ‘Entourage’ movie

I didn’t expect the “Entourage” movie to be very good, but I expected to enjoy it.

It wasn’t, and I didn’t.

And that’s coming from someone who owns all eight seasons of the dude-bro epic on DVD.

“Entourage” feels exactly like a season of the HBO hit condensed into 104 minutes — which says plenty about how little passed for a season’s worth of plot. And had it been unveiled as a short bonus season on HBO, much like what Fox did last summer with “24,” it would have been an amusing diversion.

But there’s just nothing here to justify schlepping out to a movie theater, let alone plunking down the equivalent of a month’s worth of HBO.

With that in mind, here’s a look at the 14 “Entourage”-iest things about the “Entourage” movie:

1) The yacht party off the coast of Ibiza, Spain, complete with topless models.

2) All the additional gratuitous nudity.

3) Vince (Adrian Grenier) lives in yet another mansion.

4) Vince is gifted with a Cadillac Ciel concept car for no reason.

5) Vince dates model-turned-actress Emily Ratajkowski, who somewhat convincingly portrays model-turned-actress Emily Ratajkowski.

6) Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) dates UFC fighter-turned-actress Ronda Rousey, who deserves an Academy Award. (I’m not stupid enough to criticize any woman who could snap me like a twig.)

7) Eric (Kevin Connolly) and Sloan (Emmanuelle Chriqui) run into T.I. in an OB-GYN waiting room.

8) Eric and Sloan run into Chad Lowe at Lamaze class.

9) Mark Wahlberg turns up.

10) Drama (Kevin Dillon) thinks he’s finally found the role that will make him a star.

11) Ari (Jeremy Piven) and Mrs. Ari (Perrey Reeves) go to couples therapy.

12) Sloan and Eric still can’t figure out if they want to be together.

13) Vince once again risks everything on his latest movie, which, if it isn’t a success, will ruin his career.

14) And, like always, that movie, which is supposed to be amazing, looks just awful.

Contact Christopher Lawrence at clawrence@reviewjournal.com. Follow him on Twitter: @life_onthecouch