Cosmo, pool parties drawing Vegas hotties

Sauntering through a nightclub that will go unnamed, you see only one goddess ravishing enough to be an elite model in Iowa — a stunner in a Vegas club.

That is not a good showing for a club on the Strip. Afterward, you shuffle out of the club and through the hotel, observing happy people who surely must be kind and generous but nonetheless are not cursed by model good looks.

By the time you reach your car, you feel better looking than the last 3,000 people you’ve seen, an experience you previously believed only possible at an Eminem concert.

Several clubs on the Strip suffer this trickle of top-tier pretty people this calendar year, as The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas has stolen them by the litter.

It’s almost as if every highly attractive clubber in town has relocated to the Cosmo to await the zombie apocalypse, cocktail glass in hand, creating at other hotels a safe democracy of the blissfully average.

WHERE IT’S WET

The glaring exceptions to the Black Hole of Good Looks at the Cosmo are the day clubs/corporate pool parties at hotels across the Strip.

The reason is simply light: To appear as a shirtless male or as a bikini wearer splashed under harsh desert sunshine, you must be in good shape, say, an Adonis or an Aphrodite. At least, you must think you’re Adonis or Aphrodite, and carry a credit card if you’re male.

A typical Sunday at the Encore Beach Club: Flowing red curtains drape over $5,000 to $10,000 bungalows; they sell out as a matter of course, because of their being swathed in sumptuous beauties and moneyed interests.

Standing around the pool or in it, men are fatless specimens of gym nation. Women dance to DJ Afrojack. Quite a few resurrect a trend from the early ’00s: butt cleavage. Or maybe their bikini bottoms are sagging.

Compared to a few years ago, hair in brown or black is now law. This is a brunette recession. Bottle-blond dye costs money. Also, for the past few years, an infusion of partyers of Hispanic and Asian heritages has put blondes in the corner.

Another trend still in force: Some women wear bikinis resembling form-fitting lingerie — a little cloth here, a flirt of lace there. It’s sexy.

Tattoos aren’t as prevalent as a Strip-/tattoo-hater would suspect. But there is a woman who advertises in script on her lower back, above her butt cleavage: "Playful."

On the shoulders of a weightlifter man, an inky dragon threatens all comers with its talons; a tall Schwarzenegger chap defines himself with "Native Pride" on one arm; another large man’s chest tattoo is confusing, appearing to spell "Salad Amy Diamond" if you catch only a glance, but that can’t be correct; and a woman has a permanent 10 Commandments on her back — but it’s her own 10 Commandments, not in the biblical sense.

Taking it all in, a male tourist in the pool, overwhelmed by his inaugural trip to Las Vegas and to a Vegas pool party, recalls he mistakenly packed a book, but he chose not to read it, nor would he have found a reading cove.

"This is the first time I’ve ever felt inappropriate bringing a book to the pool," he says to friends.

KARDASHIAN PRIMING THE PUMP

These party people now have one more nightclub choice in a crowded market. At Planet Hollywood, Gallery has taken the place of Prive, which shut amid scandal concerning word of topless and lewd behavior. On the Vegas Strip, can you imagine?

The space inside much resembles Prive, with a few modifications.

On a capacity-crowd Friday night, Kourtney Kardashian walks a red carpet for Gallery’s grand opening, with boyfriend Scott Disick, who poses emotionless and upright, all "American Gothic," no pitchfork.

She’s very pretty, and incredibly nice and generous with reporters. Truly. But since her every sentence is documented on TV and by People magazine, there’s not much left to quiz of her.

As fortune dictates, you have a question always in reserve for celebrities: When was the last time you cut your own nails or pumped your own gas?

Kourtney is unfazed and not insulted. She files her own nails, she answers, but her nails get done weekly.

"I go to my mom’s house and she has her nail person come over, and then they hang out with Mason," her child.

"I actually pumped my gas two days ago," she says. "It’s fun to do my own stuff. But if I’m in a rush, I’m definitely not afraid to ask my assistant to pump my gas before I run out."

She also shops at the market without makeup.

"I throw on the biggest glasses I can find," to conceal identity, she says.

There is, when she thinks about it, one great, little benefit of wealth.

"I don’t make my own bed really, and I like that. I’m not afraid to leave it unmade, if no one’s there to make it," she says. "That’s a good one."

There’s your week in glamour.

Doug Elfman’s column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Contact him at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.

ad-high_impact_4
Entertainment
The Octopus On The Las Vegas Strip Predicted The Winner Of The World Cup
The Octopus On The Las Vegas Strip Predicted The Winner Of The World Cup. (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-journal)
TLC by the Numbers
Watch Ruthless! at Las Vegas Little Theatre
The musical Ruthless! will be playing at Las Vegas Little Theatre from July 13-29. (Marcus Villagran/Las Vegas Review-Journal) @brokejournalist
How to feel like a kid again in Las Vegas
How to feel like a kid again in Las Vegas
People Lined Up For Over 5 Hours For Build-a-bear's "Pay Your Age" Promotion At Galleria Mall
People Lined Up For Over 5 Hours For Build-a-bear's "Pay Your Age" Promotion At Galleria Mall. (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Cadaver art and sword swallowing at The Dark Arts Market
Curator Erin Emrie talks about her inspiration for The Dark Arts Market at Cornish Pasty Co. in Las Vegas Tuesday, July 10, 2018. (Marcus Villagran/Las Vegas Review-Journal) @brokejournalist
Over 40,000 People Attend The 4th Of July Parade In Summerlin In Las Vegas
Over 40,000 People Attend The 4th Of July Parade In Summerlin In Las Vegas. (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
What to expect at Station Casinos' Fourth of July celebration
Station Casinos' is hosting its annual 4th of July celebration with Fireworks by Grucci. Fireworks scheduled to go off on Wednesday, July 4 around 9 p.m. at Green Valley Ranch Resort, Red Rock Resort, Fiesta Rancho and Texas Station. (Marcus Villagran/Las Vegas Review-Journal) @brokejournalist
Pawn Stars' Richard Harrison honored at memorial service
A memorial service was conducted for Richard "Old Man" Harrison at Palm Mortuary in Las Vegas on Sunday, July 1, 2018. (Marcus Villagran/Review-Journal) @brokejournalist
Tourists and locals enjoy Independence Day fireworks at Caesars Palace
Hundreds of tourists and locals gaze at the Independence Day fireworks show at Caesars Palace on Saturday, June 30, 2018. (Marcus Villagran/Las Vegas Review-Journal) @brokejournalist
5 must-see bands at Warped Tour 2018
Five must-see bands at Warped Tour 2018
This Banana Split In Las Vegas Is Made With Fire And Liquid Nitrogen Right At Your Table.
This Banana Split In Las Vegas Is Made With Fire And Liquid Nitrogen Right At Your Table. (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Pixar Pier At Disneyland Is Open With New Food And A New Roller Coaster
Pixar Pier At Disneyland Is Open With New Food And A New Roller Coaster (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Here's What It's Like To Ride The New Incredicoaster At Disneyland
Here's What It's Like To Ride The New Incredicoaster At Disneyland (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
"Pawn Stars" fans visit Richard Harrison's memorial at Gold & Silver Pawn
"Pawn Stars" fans from around the world visit the Gold & Silver Pawn Shop in Las Vegas following the passing of Richard "Old Man" Harrison on Monday, June 25, 2018. (Marcus Villagran/Review-Journal) @brokejournalist
Get a sneak peek at Palace Station's newest renovations
Station Casinos spokesperson Lori Nelson gives a first look at what Palace Station's $192 million renovation will bring. Some areas will begin opening to the public next week according to Nelson. (Marcus Villagran/Las Vegas Review-Journal) @brokejournalist
You Can Only Get The 11-pound 8-person Burger In Las Vegas
You Can Only Get The 11-pound 8-person Burger In Las Vegas (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Paul McCartney is worth over $1 billion
Sir Paul McCartney is one of the most celebrated and accomplished musicians in history. He just turned 76 on June 18. McCartney grew to international fame with the Beatles and went on to become a wildly successful solo musician. Paul McCartney’s net worth is estimated at $1.2 billion, according to Celebrity Net Worth. In 2017, McCartney landed the No. 13 spot on Forbes’ list of the world’s highest-paid musicians, earning $54 million for the year. On Thursday, June 20, McCartney will release a double A-side single featuring two new songs, "I Don't Know" and "Come On to Me." McCartney has yet to announce a title of his new album or when it will be released. Th album is expected to be released before he headlines the Austin City Limits Music fest in October.
Bellagio's New Conservatory Brings Italian Summer To Las Vegas
Bellagio's New Conservatory Brings Italian Summer To Las Vegas (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Kari Curletto of Las Vegas put over 500 hours into making her toilet paper wedding dress. (Courtesy Kari Curletto)
Kari Curletto of Las Vegas put over 500 hours into making her toilet paper wedding dress. (Courtesy Kari Curletto)
The Real Crepe In Las Vegas Serves Authentic Crepes In The Style Of Brittany, France
The Real Crepe In Las Vegas Serves Authentic Crepes In The Style Of Brittany, France. (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-journal)
New Marilyn Musical Brings Screen Icons Life To Strip
Paris Las Vegas hosts musical bio featuring new, old tunes. (Carol Cling Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Vegas' hottest concerts of the summer
Vegas' hottest concerts of the summer
We Taste-tested The Best Doughnut Shops In Las Vegas
We Taste-tested The Best Doughnut Shops In Las Vegas. (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
5 must-see bands at Punk Rock Bowling 2018
5 must-see bands at Punk Rock Bowling 2018
Gabi Coffee & Bakery Is Like A Korean Speakeasy From The 1920s
Gabi Coffee & Bakery Is Like A Korean Speakeasy From The 1920s (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Five must-see acts at the Electric Daisy Carnival 2018
Five must-see acts at the Electric Daisy Carnival 2018
The "13 Reasons Why" mustang cruises down the Las Vegas Strip (Courtesy Netflix)
4 fun and fascinating museums in Las Vegas
U2 in Vegas through the years
U2 in Vegas through the years
TOP NEWS
News Headlines
Add Event
Home Front Page Footer Listing
Circular
You May Like

You May Like