Go Team!
Today's Super Bowl serves as a reminder to sports fans everywhere that becoming a championship team requires not just talent, training, discipline and strategy. It also requires a fearsome team name that'll leave opponents quaking in their cleats.
Thus, we present: the New York Giants and the New England Patriots.
OK, not as fearsome as we'd thought. "Giants" would be fearsome if, like, they were big, muscular giants that spewed fire from their nostrils. And "Patriots" would be scary if, maybe, they hit the field carrying bloody chain saws and wearing hockey masks.
So perhaps this year's Super Bowl competitors don't sport the fiercest of nicknames. But at least their names aren't as lame, silly or mystifying as a few others we could think of.
A nickname is a way for a team to encapsulate, in just a few words, its identity and personality. A good one even can serve as a tool a team may use to forge an unbreakable bond with its fans.
Mike LaTour, chairman of the department of marketing at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, grew up near San Jose where, he says, the Oakland Raiders are "just part of our culture."
"I grew up in East San Jose, which is certainly the less privileged side of town, and the Raiders were the team," LaTour adds. "And this goes all the way back to the '60s and '70s. We were all Raiders fans."
Not surprisingly, LaTour cites the Raiders as "the epitome" of a team name that works, because it denotes the qualities -- toughness, rebelliousness, willing to stomp right up to "the dark side" -- that make Raiders fans proud.
Similarly, he says, the Minnesota Vikings works "in terms of capturing the essence of a culture and the roots of what it means to be from Minnesota."
Interesting, too, is how a name that seems stupid to the rest of the world can be beloved among the team's fans. Take the University of California, Irvine's Anteaters or the University of California, Santa Cruz's Banana Slugs.
"To some degree, they take pride in standing out differently. There's a little bit of counterculture there," LaTour says. "They're happy with them, and they enjoy kind of being in the face of the normal."
To waste some time during the hours of pointless activity preceding today's big game, we offer you this quiz to test your knowledge of team nicknames. Some are nicknames of actual high school, pro and collegiate sports teams, while others are made-up. Your job is to figure out which are real and which aren't.
So good luck, and Go Whomevers!
THE NICKNAMES
1. Maroons
2. Nads
3. Floral Waverunners
4. Zips
5. Wonder Boys
6. Honeybee Sting
7. Chokers
8. Vandals
9. Jimmies
10 Stormy Petrels
11. Battling Bishops
12. Blue Hose
13. BunnyTails
14. FireAntz
15. Fighting Artichokes
16. Ice Bats
17. Poets
18. Furnacemasters
19. Cornjerkers
20. Lugnuts
21. Biscuits
22. Granfalloons
23. T-Bones
24. Hot Dogzzz
25. Muckdogs
ANSWERS page 4J
The Answers:
1. Real. The Pottsville (Pa.) Maroons was one of the best teams in the NFL during the mid- to late-'20s, and some fans still argue that they should have been awarded the league's 1925 championship. Long story. Check out NFL Network, which seems to run a documentary about the Maroons nearly every month.
2. Real, for the Rhode Island School of Design's ice hockey team. Cheer the Nads on and you'll hit upon the subversive underpinnings of the name. By the way, the school's basketball team is the Balls.
3. Fake.
4. Real, from the University of Akron in Ohio. Shortened in 1950 from the original "Zippers." Still, why would anybody name a team after a synonym for "zero"?
5. Real, for Arkansas Tech's men's teams. Sets expectations pretty high. The women are the Golden Suns.
6. Fake. Although it would be good for a women's roller derby team.
7. Real, from Grays Harbor College, Aberdeen, Wash. They should play the Akron Zips. They could call it "The Self-Esteem Bowl."
8. Real, from the University of Idaho. Slightly better than, say, "the Jaywalkers," but at least contains a slight hint of scary lawlessness.
9. Real, from Jamestown College, Jamestown, N.D. We understand the etymology -- James/Jimmy -- but how can you not think of cupcake sprinkles? Yum.
10. Real, from Oglethorpe University in Atlanta. The university says it's a "seabird, commonly found on the Eastern seaboard, and known for flying low to the ocean to look for food."
11. Real, from Ohio Wesleyan University. Yes, there's nothing more fearsome than a bishop with a bee in his mitre.
12. Real, from Presbyterian College in Clinton, S.C. In a sports world populated by Red Sox and White Sox, at least Presbyterian went upscale, if a bit fey, sartorially speaking.
13. Fake, but notice how even something cuddly can seem more menacing with the creative use of eliminated spaces and capital letters?
14. Real, for a hockey team from Fayetteville, N.C. A prime example of the stupid trend of employing deliberate illiteracy in an effort to sound street-tough. It sukzzz.
15. Real, from Scottsdale Community College in Scottsdale, Ariz. Funny because of the school's need to stress that the 'choke is "fighting." Good name, except for the unfortunate fact that the women's teams have to play as the "Lady Artichokes." Lady Artichoke was, of course, one of the British royal family's lesser lights ... (Actually, the history behind the name is interesting. Find it by following the link from: www.scottsdalecc.edu/about_scc/index.html).
16. Real, for a minor league hockey team in Austin, Texas. Good because it's scary. Even now, aspiring Michelle Kwans are recoiling at the mere thought of their coifs colliding with a bat in mid-triple Axel.
17. Real, from Whittier College, Whittier, Calif.
A "Poet" nickname/
We will adamantly claim/
can inspire no fear/
in any athletic sphere.
Or ...
There was a team from Whittier ...
18. Fake, although Purdue does have its Boilermakers, and isn't that like calling your team "The Groutremovers"
19. Real, from Hoopeston High School, Hoopeston, Ill. Don't know what it means. Don't want to know.
20. Real, for Lansing, Mich.'s minor league baseball team. Nice for its reference to the auto industry, and witty because fans can shout "Go 'Nuts!" during games.
21. Real, for a minor league ball team from Montgomery, Ala. ("A recipe for fun!"). What, was "Petits Fours" already taken?
22. Fake, but a great name if anybody ever wanted to honor Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
23. Real, for a minor league ball team in Kansas City, Kansas. If they merged with Montgomery's team, they could be the "T-Bones and Biscuits."
24. Fake, but a logical extension of where that stupid trend (See No. 14) will go if nobody stops it in its tracks, right now.
25. Real, for Batavia, N.Y.'s minor league baseball team. Not sure if it's a breed that's registered with the American Kennel Club, but a great name for suggesting snarly aggressiveness.
Contact reporter John Przybys at jprzybys@reviewjournal.com or (702) 383-0280.
