Actor Aisha Tyler: Pursue your passion, and don’t fear failure
Aisha Tyler was born with the geek gene.
“Being a nerd is cool, but you can’t claim nerd-ery if you didn’t play alone for a significant portion of your life. I was pretty much alone until I was 16,” the 6-foot-tall San Francisco native says.
“I always tell parents that the loner, odd kid makes the most interesting adult,” she says. “We’re more self-aware and less self-possessed.”
Case in point: The 52-year-old dreamer, sci-fi addict, actor, comedian, director and talk show host has had a busy, eclectic career that includes hosting “The Talk,” voicing superspy Lana on “Archer” and starring as Dr. Tara Lewis on “Criminal Minds,” plus an animated spinoff of “The Boys” and a recurring role on “Friends.”
In the new Apple TV+ miniseries “The Last Thing He Told Me,” based on Laura Dave’s bestselling novel, Tyler plays level-headed journalist Jules, who helps Hannah (Jennifer Garner) figure out what happened to her husband (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), a man with some serious secrets who goes missing.
Tyler can usually be found at home in L.A., where she confesses she’s still a bit of a geek — and wouldn’t have it any other way. Her good life tips:
Keep a few secrets
“The Last Thing He Told Me” is all about hiding certain parts of your life. “It does make you wonder how much you really know about the people in your life,” Tyler says. “You think you know someone and then find out … they do crossword puzzles on the toilet?” she jokes. Her secret behavior? “I have so many! I do love my video games.”
Work your brain
One way that Tyler likes keep her mind active is by watching thrillers. “I love a story that unspools from week to week and draws you in while keeping you guessing,” she says. “It’s good for your brain to try to figure it out along with the characters.”
Multitask while exercising
“I am a workaholic,” Tyler admits. “And when you’re working all the time, you’re dealing with stress. That’s why exercise is so important to me because it’s de-stressing along with all the other benefits.” But it’s easy for boredom to set in. “I’ve found that if I save a favorite TV show and use that time to jump on the bike or treadmill, then I will really do it. Hint: Tyler says you can only watch the show if you’re moving.
Set the bar high
“My role model back in the day was Linda Hamilton in ‘Terminator 2,’ ” Tyler shares. “She can do a mean pullup. By the way, I still can’t do even one pullup. But it’s still a dream of mine along with climbing a rope. I could never do it as a kid in gym class. But I did climb a rope in a workout class before lockdown. Victory!”
Get your z’s
“We know how much sleep impacts your health and longevity,” Tyler says of why she strives for eight solid hours of sleep each night. “I’m a video game lover, so I’ve turned my sleep into a game with sleep apps on my phone. It’s a good way to track my sleep and looking at the app makes sleep a real priority.”
Watch the caffeine
“I try not to drink too much coffee. I think you need to keep an eye on it,” says Tyler, who doesn’t drink much alcohol either. “Occasionally, I’ll have a martini if I’m celebrating.”
Pursue your passion
Why did Tyler decide to be an actor? “Ask any actor and 99 percent will say they’re acting because there was a cute guy or girl they liked who was an actor or in an acting class,” she says. “In my case, it was a cute guy. I followed him into an improv class. His name is Sam Rockwell and he was worth following. We stopped dating, but we’re friends to this day. The acting part also stuck.” Why was it her passion? “Acting was a way to feel seen and feel better. As a little kid, I wanted to speak every language, act every part, talk to all the people, make friends and be nice. Acting was a way to make that happen.”
Break ground
“When I was a little kid, there weren’t a lot of people doing what I do that look like me,” Tyler says. “I find it very gratifying when I can, hopefully, provide some inspiration or some encouragement to someone who wants to do some of the things that I do. … To this day, people come up to me and go, ‘Charlie, Charlie,’ or they go, ‘Black girl from ‘Friends.’ It was a moment for so many.”
Embrace independence
Tyler spent a year living in Ethiopia as a child and says it taught her a lot about life. “My parents were big hippies and studied meditation,” she says of mother Robin (a teacher) and father James (a photographer). “As a little girl, I got to run around in Ethiopia, play with new friends and be free. … My parents instilled independence and possibility. They said, ‘If you want to do something just try it. It might not go your way, but just do it.’ ”
Welcome failure
“There is a power in failure, and the fear of failure shouldn’t stop you from pursuing things,” Tyler insists. “I believe you must go through failure to get where you want to go. … I’m not worried about falling flat on my face. You just have to believe, push through and love the process, even when it doesn’t love you back.
“I never ever thought when I was that nerdy teen that I’d be doing what I’m doing now,” she adds with a laugh. “It turned out the way it did because I failed and pushed on.”
