A dull day at Daytonain follow-the-leader 500

Being something of a veteran at the South Point showroom, I guess I would rank Sunday’s official NASCAR Daytona 500 viewing party there a little ahead of the Deja Vu Dance and Show Band, but not nearly as awesome as the Spazmatics. I’m blaming it on these new stock cars.

Except for the giant Bass Pro Shop decals, these Generation-6 cars supposedly look just like the Fords, Chevys and Toyotas for which they are named. Based on Sunday’s single-file racing and limited passing, they must drive like them, too.

There must have been 300 NASCAR fans in one place at South Point, and they were subdued from start to finish, and that’s something you don’t witness everyday.

No one shouted WOO-HOO! No one shouted EARNHARDT! No one made rude or crude jokes about Danica Patrick; that was unusual, too.

A NASCAR fan named Richard Suk won one of the many sets of complimentary tickets to the Kobalt 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

“Cadillac Jack” from 102.7 The Coyote (remember when radio stations began with a “W” or a “K”?) said he wouldn’t go there in reference to Richard’s surname. Richard said not to worry, it is pronounced “Soohk.” To which a wiseguy in a nearby booth said, “Kyle Busch Soohks.”

With 20 laps to go, three people with a need for speed or a $1 hot dog wandered in from the casino hoping there would be some passing, or a track dryer might wander onto the track and Juan Pablo Montoya would hit it, or both. It was not to be. And then Jimmie Johnson won, because Jimmie Johnson always wins.

Danica got shuffled from third to eighth on the last lap. Most people in the showroom were cheering for her.

Almost everybody waited around to hear Danica be interviewed about how she led a few laps, after which I thought Darrell Waltrip might propose marriage to her in the booth. But somebody had pulled the plug on the audio.

Almost everybody said that soohked more than Kyle Busch.

“What do you think she’s saying?” I asked NASCAR fan/wildlife biologist Eileen Riegert, who was wearing a green Danica T-shirt and said her husband, Tony, races in the Bomber division at the LVMS bullring.

“I think she’s saying that was a great race right there,” Eileen said.

To which I wanted to say “Come On, Eileen,” because how many chances in life do you get to say that? But Eileen was right; Ms. Danica did drive a great race. And if these Gen-6 cars were worth a damn, perhaps she might have pulled out of the draft and been able to pass somebody.

“Too much follow-the-leader,” said a fellow named Dave Perry, who was wearing an Indianapolis 500 T-shirt and said he will be going back to the Brickyard for the 43rd time in May. Perry said he just got his LVMS World of Outlaws tickets, that he was looking forward to some passing and to losing a bit of his hearing in a couple of weeks.

On the way home, a yellow blur flashed by on the 515 freeway. There was a black “DAYTONA” decal on the rear quarter panel.

It was a new Dodge Charger.

It passed at least six more cars after mine, so it must have been one of the new Generation-7 cars.

THREE UP

■ Tanner Godfrey, the paralyzed-from-the-waist-down Nitro Circus daredevil, set a record by jumping 102 feet from ramp to ramp in his souped-up utility vehicle in Mesquite on Friday night. Then he tried it again and jumped 105 feet. The old record was 47 feet, so Ryan Braun wants to know if Godfrey’s UTV is for sale.

■ The Warriors wore their new jersey shirts for the first time Friday; here’s hoping the other NBA teams adopt them, too. And that the next time I fly Allegiant, and its hot outside, and the hairy, overweight guy in the middle seat is a Lakers fan, that he’ll be wearing the alternate Kobe Bryant jersey, with sleeves, instead of the traditional tank-top model without them.

■ Bryce Harper is on the Sports Illustrated cover for the second time this week. Just 48 more and he’ll catch Michael Jordan.

THREE DOWN

■ Jog As One: UNLV has scored 57 fast-break points in 13 Mountain West games for an average of 4.38 fast-break points per game. Or about two baskets. The opponents have scored 52 fast-break points. Or also about two baskets.

■ Last week I wrote I would pay to watch the boys basketball teams from Bishop Gorman and Centennial play any time, anywhere. I left off the asterisk and Orleans Arena. The Gaels held the Bulldogs to 18 points through three quarters and won the Division I state final, 69-43.

■ The iron token has been eliminated from the board game Monopoly. It would have been cool had the iron been replaced with one of those cheap plastic steamers they sell at the outlet mall that never work like they are supposed to when you get them home. Instead, Monopoly fans chose a cat.

Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ron Kantowski can be reached at rkantowski@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0352. Follow him on Twitter: @ronkantowski.