The dark side of sports in 2012

10. Wranglers keep keepin' on.

It is admirable that our minor league hockey team has survived a decade and also that it is a perennial contender for the Kelly Cup - which, I believe, is named for Kelly Ripa.

But if I have to listen to the infernal Zamboni song for another 10 years, I think I probably will lose it. Like Ogie Ogilthorpe in "Slap Shot."

And then, what with the litigation, the notoriety, my subsequent deportation to Canada - and Canada's refusal to accept me - well, I guess that will be more than any 55-year-old can handle.

9. Real Madrid, Herculez Gomez draw big crowd.

An international soccer juggernaut and a local kid who can bend it like well, a little like Lionel Messi attracted 29,152 spectators to Sam Boyd Stadium on a hot August night, which was a lot more spectators than watched UNLV play football when the weather was ideal.

Because it was only a "friendly," which is what soccer people call an exhibition game, Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo - the Brad Pitt of international soccer - played just one half. It appeared to some that he wasn't trying all that hard.

But every time he touched the soccer ball, there were cellphone flashes and shrieks, and none of the female fans doing the shrieking seemed to notice Cristiano Ronaldo's perceived lack of effort.

Most just said he had a nice rear end.

8. Bishop Gorman wins again.

Liberty High kicked a field goal on its first possession to take a 3-0 lead against stormin' Gorman, which was seeking its fourth consecutive state football championship.

Was an upset in the making? Had competitive balance on the local high school level finally arrived?

It was not. It had not. Gorman won, 63-10.

When last seen, competitive balance was writhing on the sideline, in obvious pain, as if it had forgotten to wear its cup.

7. Neither Busch brother qualifies for NASCAR playoffs.

The Las Vegas lead foots - lead feet? - combined for one victory in 71 starts this season, which is one more than Stroker Ace and Ricky Bobby combined for.

Kyle missed the Chase for the Sprint Cup by one spot; older brother Kurt missed well, by a lot of spots. Will this make the Busch brothers more humble and contrite in 2013? I sorta doubt it.

Will it make the Busch brothers drive faster, trade additional paint and visit the NASCAR hauler more frequently in 2013? Oh, yeah. You pretty much can count on it.

6. Fourth time a charm for Pacquiao-Marquez.

When the boxing gods - i.e., HBO Pay-Per-View - ordained that Manny Pacquiao should fight Juan Manuel Marquez a fourth time, my first thought was that watching Marquez drink his own urine on 24/7 the first three times was three times too many.

Then Marquez landed the shot heard 'round the boxing world at the end of the sixth round.

And while I do not aspire to watch Juan Manuel Marquez drink his own urine a fifth time, it sure was a hell of a right hand.

5. Bob Blum dies.

He was the grandfather - make that the great-great-grandfather - that always brought you a present or an ice cream cone. With chocolate sprinkles.

The only negative thing I can say about Bob Blum is that he struggled with the names of the Russian hockey players this one time he was asked to substitute for the old Las Vegas Thunder play-by-play guy.

And now that he is gone, I will miss him trying to say that Vladimir Tsyplakov had the puck along the near boards. I also will miss his kind soul and stories that only he could tell.

4. Floyd Mayweather boxes, goes to jail.

Boxing's money man was bequeathed the biggest guaranteed purse - $36 million - in the sport's history when he fought Miguel Cotto.

It was a hard fight; Floyd earned a hard-fought decision. And 25 days later, he reported to the Clark County Detention Center, where he served 87 days for domestic abuse.

Instead of making it rain, Floyd played poker for Camels.

3. UNLV basketball makes another first-round exit.

When the Rebels received a No. 6 seed to March Madness, there was much smiling and slapping of hands, because Colorado was an 11 seed, and also because Colorado is known mostly for sports such as skiing.

Well, the Buffaloes might have been smiling, too. Because though the Rebels had knocked off No. 1 North Carolina in November, the Rebels also were known to jack beaucoup 3-point shots.

Against Colorado, the Rebels jacked 36 3-point shots, making nine. The Buffaloes jacked 12, making seven.

If you think the Rebels won, you don't know jack.

2. Shabazz Muhammad, top NCAA basketball recruit.

The last time I saw Shabazz Muhammad play basketball live, in person, Mayor Carolyn Goodman was handing out free drink tokens to the other Mayor Goodman's downtown restaurant, which is called Oscar's Beef, Booze, Broads. I don't know what this says about Shabazz Muhammad, other than he had become the biggest of kahunas.

There was the requisite scandal over Muhammad's recruitment, and so the NCAA benched him for a bit. And when he started hooping it up again, he looked like a chubby kahuna. But now he's scoring again, and he's rebounding again, and it's probably only a matter of time until the Bruins make their move again.

And after that Shabazz Muhammad will be playing in the NBA, and then he will have his own shoe.

1. Bryce Harper, rookie of the year.

If there was a such a thing as a six-tool player in baseball, young Harper would be one. And young Mike Trout of the Angels might be a 6½-tool player.

(John Rocker would just be a tool, period.)

The upside to young Harper's game is monumental. Think Teddy Roosevelt up on Mount Rushmore, not the Teddy Roosevelt that huffs and puffs during the Nationals' presidential race. His downside: Sometimes young Harper wears too much eye makeup.

So does Mila Kunis. We're sort of picking at nits here.

Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ron Kantowski can be reached at rkantowski@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0352. Follow him on Twitter: @ronkantowski