Detailing perks up neglected vehicles

Wow.

Better make that "ugh."

Didn't the paint used to shine? Weren't the blackwall tires actually black? And why is there more dirt on the inside of the windows than the outside? Hang on ... that's not dirt, it's dried ketchup (although that might not explain the evil smell in there).

There's just one little problem with keeping a vehicle looking new: You drive it outdoors. You know, outdoors, where there's mud, gravel, tree sap, cats, tar and flying wildlife. Anything I've forgotten? Ah yes, neglect.

If your idea of "cleaning" is to go for a fast drive in the rain, vehicle resurrection will present a challenge, mostly because if you're the neglectful type you won't have a clue of how to begin. Taking on this battle without some knowledge is like showing up for a physics final exam when you don't even take physics.

It will be expensive (because you have no idea what products to buy), time consuming (do you like doing things two or three times before the vehicle is even presentable?) and most likely frustrating (your idea of "like new" and the wax bottle's idea of "like new" don't always jibe).

Trust us on this one: the Wheelbase garage has, quite literally, 50 types of wax/polish on the shelves and each staff member has his or her favorite concoction. And that's only about half of what you'll find on store shelves. What you use depends on how bad the paint is and what type of paint it is (like you're supposed to know?).

If you can't actually remember the last time the car was waxed -- and you're the original owner dating back several years -- it's quite likely the finish will have to be polished to remove small scratches, swirl marks and general dullness. This is a step that's often skipped, but is essential to renewing the surface in preparation for wax, which is really just a protective coating.

There are many great products out there, some that are standalone and others that are meant to be used as part of a system. For example (and this is not an endorsement), editor Jeff Melnychuk (a shine tyrant and detailing taskmaster) says he has grown quite comfortable with Meguiar's No. 9 Swirl Remover, followed by No. 7 Show Car Glaze and the topped with Meguiar's Gold Class wax. Using a power buffer for the Swirl Remover and power orbital polisher for applying the glaze and wax and then hand buffing it all away, our hardy boss man says a complete paint makeover takes about three hours on a Saturday morning (all day if he's doing it as a work project on Monday ... go figure).

With power tools, though, you have to know what you're doing otherwise you run the risk of "burning" (ruining) the paint surface. It takes experience not to screw up, but how do you get experience without screwing up?

The following probably isn't the way.

"I made like I knew what I was doing and practiced on (Wheelbase old-car guru and road-test king) Malcolm Gunn's car," Jeff said.

Down low where the rubber meets the road, there are plenty of products that will do the job. Although most tire/wheel cleaners are of the spray-on-leave-it-for-a-bit-hose-off variety, we've found it best to get the wash mitt in there for a good scrubbing before rinsing. Checking the shelves in the Wheelbase garage uncovers a half dozen spray bottles of Eagle One's All-Wheel and Tire Cleaner, a product that replaces separate wheel/tire cleaners. Tire dressing (shiny stuff) is up to you, but I would recommend spraying whatever it is onto a "tire sponge" first instead of directly onto the tire (the overspray of which contaminates the wheel and surrounding paint).

Inside is a simple but usually time-consuming affair with a bucket of warm soapy water (not sudsy, just soapy) and some clean rags. Don't let the surfaces air dry, or there'll be streaks. Once that's done, you can "dress" the vinyl and plastic with something like Mother's Preserve, which also happens to smell like a lovely Hawaiian beach party.

Upholstery touch-ups are possible with some off-the-shelf cleaners but if the carpet and seats look like the bottom of the kitchen sink on spaghetti night, or you just don't have the professional cleaning equipment hanging on the wall (it's OK, we don't either), try this: Take the vehicle to a detailing shop. Steam cleaning the carpets and seats might cost $100 or so, but will make a huge difference in the look, feel and smell of the interior, which, of course, is where you spend your time.

In fact, when we can't keep up with maintenance, we're glad to surrender the vehicles to the local detail shop for complete resurrection from paint and tires/wheels to glass and upholstery. The last time was for the "shop truck," a red 2000 Ford Lightning shortbox with real suede seats. Total cost: $220, zero of our time, zero of our sweat, zero materials and the vehicle was delivered to the office looking brand spanking new.

So, now that you know a little more of what you're up against, let your skill level, time, tenacity, wallet thickness and the do-it-yourself gene help you to sweat the details without all the sweat.

Rhonda Wheeler is a journalist with Wheelbase Media, a worldwide supplier of automotive news, features and reviews. You can e-mail her by logging on to www.wheelbase.ws/media and clicking the contact link.