Not a pretty picture: Show’s fans email tales of tattoo fails

You don’t need to have poor communication skills to get a bad tattoo.

But it sure does seem to help.

An August profile I wrote about A&E’s “Bad Ink” and its stars, Las Vegas punk-rock mainstays Dirk Vermin and Rob Ruckus, generated several dozen emails — punctuated willy-nilly, if at all — from readers begging for help with their own bad ink.

Some, like this unedited one, were largely indecipherable: I got 90 tattoos a bunch I done myself..... I’m covered I got one on My left outer calf… down around ankle Hmmmmm.....was.apposed to be ocean coroll spell check hehe yes I did it. “”Dang Dog Darn it”“

Others were genuine, heartfelt letters with interesting angles. The best out-of-context highlight: Women should NOT have orange nipples.

To celebrate the launch of the reality/comedy hybrid’s second season at 9 p.m. Monday, here are uncorrected excerpts from some of my other favorite e-mailed pleas:

▶ My tattoo is plain, ugly and cricket. …

▶ … my tattoo is ashamed …

▶ I’m praying you wood be able to help us out …

▶ I have a really bad tattoo on my kneck …

▶ How much would it be to fix a miss spelled name on my butt

■ On with the show: The 13th Annual Jewish Film Festival continues at The Adelson Educational Campus, 9700 W. Hillpoint Road, with screenings of “Cupcakes” (1 p.m. Sunday), an Israeli satire about the Eurovision Song Contest; “Jews and Money” (3:30 p.m. Sunday), a documentary looking at anti-Semitic tension in Paris; “The Jewish Cardinal” (7 p.m. Saturday), the story of Jean-Marie Lustiger, who was appointed Archbishop of Paris; “Paris Manhattan” (1 p.m. Jan. 26), a comedy about a woman obsessed with Woody Allen; and “Ida” (3:30 p.m. Jan. 26), about an orphan on the cusp of becoming a nun who meets her Jewish aunt. A special screening of “Bethlehem,” Israel’s submission for the Best Foreign-Language Film Oscar, is set for 7:30 p.m. Thursday in the Century Theatres at the South Point, 9777 Las Vegas Blvd South. For more information, see http://www.lvjff.org.

Brace yourselves: Everyone’s favorite Las Vegas-based man-hookers are back in the fifth season of “Gigolos” (11 p.m. Thursday, Showtime).

Best of the best: Tacos &Tequila at Luxor, the now-closed Diego at the MGM Grand and Leticia’s Mexican Cocina put their best tacos forward to compete in “Best in Chow: Taco Wars Las Vegas” (7 p.m. Wednesday, Cooking Channel).

Contact Christopher Lawrence at clawrence@reviewjournal.com or 702-380-4567.