Threequels often spell trouble for movie franchises

“Well, at least we all can agree the third one’s always the worst.”

That’s Jean Grey (Sophie Turner) leaving a screening of “Return of the Jedi” in a scene from this summer’s “X-Men: Apocalypse.”

“Return of the Jedi” was indeed both the third and the worst of the “Star Wars” movies — at least until the prequels inflicted themselves upon us.

But “Apocalypse,” the third installment in the most recent run of “X-Men” movies, also is its worst. As was “X-Men: The Last Stand,” the third of the original batch.

This isn’t to suggest the third time can’t be the charm. “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” even won a best picture Oscar. But that’s an adaptation of the third book in a series, not a true threequel.

The “Toy Story,” “Mission: Impossible,” “Bourne” and Clint Eastwood’s “Man with No Name” franchises all turned out very good number threes.

But for the most part, number threes smell a lot more like number twos.

With the threequel “Star Trek Beyond” opening Friday — and not being screened in advance for many critics — here’s a look at some truly rancid threequels that really were the worst in their respective franchises:

“Beverly Hills Cop III” (1994)

Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) investigates a counterfeiting ring at an amusement park in a movie so lame, it could barely pique the interest of Judge Reinhold. Directors George Lucas, John Singleton, Joe Dante, Barbet Schroeder and Arthur Hiller make cameos for no discernible reason. And Axel saves the day by using a prototype weapon that doubles as a machine gun and a grenade launcher while broadcasting Jerry Lewis singing “North Dakota South Dakota.”

“Lethal Weapon 3” (1992)

There’s just so very much Joe Pesci. And not the good Joe Pesci, either. It’s the manic, blonde, earringed, “OK, OK, OK” Joe Pesci.

“Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome” (1985)

The Thunderdome, where “two men enter, one man leaves”? Good. Tina Turner’s plunging, chain-mail dress? Very good. But the rest of the movie, in which Max (Mel Gibson) is taken in by a bunch of kids who forever ramble on about someplace called Tomorrow-morrow Land, is, well, let’s just say there’s a reason it took 30 years for Hollywood to release “Mad Max: Fury Road.”

“Superman III” (1983)

Corrupted by some homemade Kryptonite cobbled together by an entry-level computer programmer (Richard Pryor), Superman (Christopher Reeve) gets drunk, straightens the Leaning Tower of Pisa and blows out the Olympic flame. Then he somehow fights Clark Kent in a junkyard. The whole thing wouldn’t have been so bad if its makers didn’t have the same general understanding of computers as your great aunt Mildred.

“Spider-Man 3” (2007)

With Sandman, Venom and yet another Green Goblin, it’s burdened by two too many villains. But “Spider-Man 3’s” biggest crime against cinema? Emo Peter Parker.

“Halloween III: Season of the Witch” (1982)

Of the 10 movies in the franchise, this is the only one that doesn’t feature Michael Myers. Instead, there’s a sinister plot involving deadly Halloween masks and an unbearable Silver Shamrock commercial.

“The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” (2006)

No one from the first two “Fast and Furiouses” bothered to show up for this one, either, until Vin Diesel drove up for a few seconds at the very end. It was so out of place with the rest of the franchise, future sequels were reverse engineered so that the bulk of “Tokyo Drift” takes place between the end of “Fast & Furious 6” and that movie’s postcredits scene.

“Back to the Future: Part III” (1990)

Great Scott! Who exactly did they think was up for watching Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) romance a schoolmarm (Mary Steenburgen) in the Old West amid gratuitous ZZ Top cameos and one last chance for a Tannen to be covered in manure?

“The Godfather: Part III” (1990)

Two words: Sofia Coppola.

“The Karate Kid, Part III” (1989)

I’m going to be honest: I’m not entirely sure I remembered there was a “Karate Kid, Part III.” I remembered the second one, and the one with Hilary Swank, and the remake with Jaden Smith. But this one? In which disgraced Cobra Kai instructor John Kreese (Martin Kove) reaches out to his mentor to exact brutal vengeance on Daniel (Ralph Macchio) and Mr. Miyagi (longtime Las Vegan Pat Morita) by stealing some bonsai trees and improperly training Daniel to defend the All Valley title he has no interest in defending anyway? Yeah, that’s a revenge plot that made Zemo’s retribution in “Captain America: Civil War” seem straightforward and well thought out.

“Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son” (2011)

At some point in every FBI agent’s career, in order to crack a case, he’s going to have to go undercover as a heavyset Southern grandmother. Maybe even twice. But doing it a third time, and having his son put on a dress and a fat suit so he can hide out at a girls school? That’s where discerning moviegoers finally had to draw the line.

Contact Christopher Lawrence at clawrence@reviewjournal.com. On Twitter: @life_onthecouch