Yes, they’re past 30 (or 40) but Backstreet Boys still rock

Backstreet’s not back because they never left.

At least not when we’re talking about the hearts of millennials who harvested the beloved boy band’s pictures from the pages of Tiger Beat magazine like a pubescent cash crop.

Every girl loved them.

Every boy pretended to do the opposite.

Not only did they relaunch the boy band craze, picking up where New Kids on the Block left off and setting the stage for N’Sync and the Jonas Brothers after them, but they pretty much put pop music in a headlock for a time, selling more than 13 million copies of their disc “Millennium” alone.

Years later, the group is still going strong.

On their current “In A World Like This Tour,” which launched more than a year ago, they continue to pack arenas and amphitheaters the world over.

Thing is, though, the Backstreet Boys are no longer boys, are they?

The youngest of them, Nick Carter, is 34, and the oldest, Kevin Richardson, is 42.

But Backstreet 30- and 40-somethings doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?

Don’t worry, dudes, as always, we’re here to help.

With the band taking over Planet Hollywood Resort on Friday and Saturday, we thought we’d help them channel their true middle-age selves by updating some of their songs to reflect where they’re currently at in life.

Listen for some of these more age-appropriate versions of their many hits this weekend:

Original song: “Quit Playin’ Games (With My Heart)”

2014 version: “Quit Playin’ Games (With My Heart … Pills)”

Original song: “Hey, Mr. DJ (Keep Playin’ That Song)”

2014 version: “Hey, Mr. DJ (Keep Playin’ That Song, But At A Respectable Volume, Please, and No Skrillex. That’s Not Even Music. Kids These Days! Grumble Grumble)”

Original song: “It’s Gotta Be You”

2014 version: “It’s Gotta Be You Or One of the Other 10 Girls in the Front Row Who Looks Just Like You”

Original song: “Don’t Want To Lose You Now”

2014 version: “Don’t Want To Lose You Until the Cialis Kicks In (After That, Whatevs)”

Original song: “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)”

2014 version: “Everybody Who Was 16 Years Old in 1999 (Backstreet’s Back)”

Original song: “Let’s Have A Party”

2014 version: “Let’s Not And Say We Did”

Original song: “Get Down (You’re The One For Me)”

2014 version: “Get Down (Now Help Me Back Up Already)”

Original song: “We’ve Got It Goin’ On”

2014 version: “We’ve Got It Goin’, Goin’, Gone”

Original song: “How Did I Fall In Love With You?”

2014 version: “How Did I Fall In Love With You? (The Jager Song)”

Original song: “Anywhere For You”

2014 version: “Anywhere For You (As Long As It’s Not Too Far. Or Too Late. I Need My Rest. You Wouldn’t Believe How Many Times I Get Up in The Middle of the Night to Pee!)”

Original song: “What Makes You Different (Makes You Beautiful)”

2014 version: “What Makes You Different (Makes You Beautiful. That And/Or Your Boobs)”

Original song: “That’s What She Said”

2014 version: “Aren’t You What’s-His-Name From That Group My Mom Liked When She Was in the Sixth Grade?: That’s What She Said.”

Original song: “Yes, I Will”

2014 version: “Yes, I Will Tell the Neighbor Kids to Stay Off My Damn Lawn.”

Original song: “If I Don’t Have You”

2014 version: “If I Don’t Have You, I’ll Never Be Able to Eat Mexican Again (The Pepcid AC Song)”

Original song: “Not For Me”

2014 version: “Not For Me (Staying Up Past 11 p.m. On A School Night)”

Original song: “Darlin’ ”

2014 version: “Darlin’ Sign The Pre-Nup Already”