The Grill has passed away. Just before his long-awaited death, witnesses say the jeweled mouth accessory had complained of pain in his side. Medical tests later revealed Grill was experiencing severe style cramps. Long-time fans quickly pointed fingers. The culprits, they charged, were the famous giggling blonds who warmed up to the sparkling character with good intentions but did more harm than good in the end.
The demise started with Kendra Wilkinson of “Girls Next Door” fame. An episode in season one of the E! reality show saw the girlfriend designing and eventually rocking her own Grill. Apart from the pink diamonds splashed across him, Grill appeared grossly uncomfortable rubbing against the teeth of a silicone-injected, bleach blond who sleeps under a canopy.
Selling out further, Grill accompanied Jessica Simpson to the 2006 Teen Choice Awards. Friends knew something was wrong when Grill closed the degree of separation between down-and-dirty rappers and Daisy Duke-sporting starlets. In an instant, his rough edge had softened.
Although he’s gone, Grill still lives on in the hearts of several of his fans, most notably Flava Flav. His supersized clock necklaces, Viking hats and suits so loud Helen Keller could hear them just won’t be the same without their dear metal mouthpiece.
May Grill rest in peace.
Contact fashion reporter Xazmin Garza at email@example.com or (702) 383-0477.