The Tiara is dead. After a slow, painful bout with fashion accessory cancer she finally passed on early this morning.
Approximately 52 beauty queens clung to Tiara’s bedside day and night. Family members such as Pageant Sash and Vaseline Teeth paid regular visits to the fashion hospital where their dear relative fought for her life. Although a great loss loomed, each visitor maintained a permanent, ear-to-ear smile through the ordeal. Some even twirled batons in dedication to Tiara.
When the bad news came, however, bystanders say a mascara flood poured in.
The pageant industry isn’t alone in its mourning. Celebrities such as Courtney Love, Fergie and Serena Williams also long for their friend, who — to them — never lost that sparkling personality.
The Learning Channel, also known as TLC, assisted in ending Tiara’s cancer battle. The cable network decided it was time to relieve the delicate, ultra-feminine character of her fashion misery. They injected her with a syringe of high style. The substance attacked Tiara’s fashion immune system causing her to go into permanent fashion failure.
May Tiara rest in peace.
Contact fashion reporter Xazmin Garza at email@example.com or 702-383-0477.