Teens using texting as means to flirt, break up

It’s 6:40 on a Friday morning at Palo Verde High School.

Blackjacks, Sidekicks, Tilts and Blackberrys are out and fingers are flying as kids wait for classes to start.

“Gtg,” “btw,” “sup,” “n2m,” “lol” are some of the messages being sent.

Face to face is out; phone to phone is in.

As texting becomes more and more popular, teens are not just using it as a quick way to chat, they are using it to flirt, ask someone out — even to break up.

“We’re done, bye,” “Hey, wanna go out?” “Yes!” “Hey this isn’t working out, sorry” are becoming part of the texting scene.

According to an AT&T survey, 68 percent of people who text admitted to sending a love note over text, and 67 percent have used texting as a way to flirt.

But texting may not be the best way for teens to go about asking for dates.

“I’m concerned that teens don’t spend enough time getting to know the person,” says Annie Fox, author of “The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real World Advice About Guys, Girls, Growing Up And Getting Along.” “They actually have to hang out so you can see how they treat people.

“Also, in person you get to read body language, whereas when you’re texting you just have their content,” Fox says. “You can’t tell much feeling. Relationships should be based on hanging out.”

Palo Verde junior Xandrine Benemerito seems to agree.

She was asked out via text and wasn’t interested.

“It was a cowardly way to do it,” she says. “A guy should ask you out in person.”

New Horizon High senior Chad Cohen says he hasn’t asked a girl for a date by text but that he did break up by sending a “We’re done, bye” message.

“It wasn’t a fair way to break up with her but I didn’t want to talk to her anymore,” he says.

Palo Verde freshman Christina Haeffner also chose to break up by sending a text that said “Hey, sorry, this isn’t working out.” She says she broke up by text instead of in person because she was too nervous.

Dylan Bumgardner, a freshman at Las Vegas Academy, says he asked a girl out by text, but it was someone he had gotten to know.

“I got her number at school, texted her a lot, then asked her, ‘Hey, want to go out?’ ” The girl responded by texting “YES.”

Fox says that type of exchange might be more appropriate because the two knew each other.

“If they aren’t 100 percent comfortable with the person they are asking out, then they should not do it over text,” she says. “It’s not a good idea.”

Fox, who also created the Web site The InSite, which provides advice for teens and young adults, cited these do’s and don’ts for teen dating, via text or otherwise:

Do — know them well, know if you’re compatible and have the same interests.

Don’t — ask someone out in front of other people (there’s no need for an audience), send a friend to ask for you, or ask someone who already has a boyfriend or girlfriend.

“Most kids just jump ahead to a relationship when they don’t know them well,” Fox says. “The word ‘friend’ is in the word ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend.’ “

OMG! She makes a lot of sense. TTYL.

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