Hill: Musk and Zuckerberg could fight in Octagon, but shouldn’t

One of the main reasons the UFC was able to grow so quickly from a banned-from-television ignominy to a global phenomenon is the universal nature of the competition.

Dana White has used the example many times.

No matter where someone is in the world, if a fight breaks out on a street corner, everyone is turning their attention in that direction and everyone understands the rules of engagement for the most part.

But now we are starting to see the downside of such relatability.

Far too many people watch three fights on television and believe they can step into the Octagon.

Which brings us to two petulant billionaires who seem a little too serious about this ridiculous nonsense of stepping into the cage to challenge one another.

It started with Elon Musk making a comment on Twitter in which he posted he was “up for a cage fight” with his longtime tech rival, Mark Zuckerberg.

The Meta chief used one of his own platforms, Instagram, to respond. He borrowed from a famous moment in UFC history by simply responding, “Send Me Location,” a phrase popularized by former lightweight champion Khabib Nurmagomedov for his willingness to fight Conor McGregor at any time in any place.

Zuckerberg clearly either pays attention to the UFC, or pays someone to do it for him. Maybe both. He has been seen at UFC fights and is believed to be working on a plan to incorporate fight cards into the Metaverse. He also trains in jiu-jitsu and has even competed in the discipline in some tournaments.

But let’s not be silly. While any sort of mixed martial arts training is a great base and gives him a leg up over a novice, he’s nowhere near the level that would make him look competent in any sort of fight.

Yet he would obviously destroy Musk despite a decided size disadvantage. Musk’s biggest victory came when he completely obliterated Twitter without throwing a single punch.

The point is, this whole thing is silly and quite frankly, fairly disrespectful to athletes who dedicate their lives training to compete in such an endeavor. Have you ever watched two complete amateurs fight, especially when one is in their 50s?

It would be like a thumb wrestling contest in mittens.

So let’s stop giving it so much attention. I like a freak-show fight as much as the next person, but this isn’t even that. It’s two non-athletes talking about something they will never do and even if they do, it would look ridiculous.

White says Musk and Zuckerberg are “dead serious” and the fight would be the most lucrative in history and that could be true.

But anyone who pays money to actually watch this would probably pay money for a meaningless blue check mark on the internet.

You know what, never mind. Let’s just see it happen and get it over with.

Cheer for the inevitable

The Aces are going to lose a few games here and there throughout the season. It’s just not fair to expect them to be mentally focused each and every night when they are simply so much better than their opponent every time they step on the floor.

But it’s not going to happen often and barring several injuries, they are going to win a second consecutive title. This is not to step on anyone’s fun. Fans should enjoy the games for what they are, a year-long coronation. It’s the rare occasion in sports when you can cheer on a team with almost zero chance of being disappointed.

Some may call that boring, but isn’t it really just emotionally healthy?

Excuse of the week

Steve Lemke has resigned from his job as an assistant women’s bowling coach at Stephen F. Austin after it was discovered he was having an affair with one of the athletes.

His wife Amber is the head coach.

It’s a salacious story, but the actual scandal isn’t why this was the best story on the internet this week.

No, it was actually Lemke’s statement to the (Nacogdoches, Texas) Daily Sentinel that truly made this story take off.

“I knew it was kind of a no-no, but there’s not a rule saying it can’t happen,” Steve Lemke said. “There’s not a law saying I’m going to go to jail for doing something like this. There’s nothing in stone. I guess it’s just an ethics code, like we frown upon it, but there’s no rule, there’s no law broken.”

Ah, the Costanza defense. Any fan of “Seinfeld” will recognize the origins of this excuse from when George got caught with the cleaning lady.

But to use it in real life, that takes some real bowling balls.

Contact Adam Hill at ahill@reviewjournal.com. Follow @AdamHillLVRJ on Twitter.