Rodney Carrington: Here’s why you should quit Facebook

MGM comedian Rodney Carrington just had “four things” burned off of his skin in Oklahoma, where his dermatologist said skin cancer is up 180 percent.

Carrington is only 46, but he’s already got a blase attitude about dropping his dignity and bending over for doctors to check his prostate.

“Isn’t it funny that that’s OK in the doctor’s office, but if he were to ask you to come over to his house, there’d be a whole other feeling to the thing,” Carrington said.

“If we were in his house, and he was in a pair of jean shorts, it would be really, really different.”

Carrington performs at the MGM Saturday through Dec. 13.

The last time I talked to him, he was reeling from divorce and posting wild stuff on Facebook.

Now he seems grounded again. He’s not chasing women as much as before. And he takes his sons, 18 and 16, to Oklahoma City Thunder basketball games.

But he’s still living the single life.

“One-night stands are fantastic until they’re over. And then it’s a 48-hour candlelight vigil, hoping your penis doesn’t fall off your body.”

What happened to the marriage?

“I always thought I was going to be married forever. And then my wife decided she wanted to start dating other people. I didn’t know you could do that.”

Carrington has changed the type of lady he’s looking for.

“I’ve had a habit, over 46 years, of getting connected to the wounded bird. You’ve gotta stay away from wounded birds.

“You need one that flies, and has her own ideas, and can take care of herself, and can put you in your place every now and then.”

He wants a strong woman with inner strength who doesn’t use Facebook as life validation.

“Facebook gives this false sense of ‘Life is wonderful,” he said.

“Facebook is the number one cause of depression in the United States, because people are exhausted, trying to live up to it.

“You’re not on vacation all the time. Contrary to what your Facebook shows, you’re behind a desk making $13 an hour trying to figure out how to pay for an unwanted pregnancy.”

Carrington offers solutions. Get off Facebook like he did and focus on friends in person. (He quit his personal Facebooking, but someone still maintains his professional page.) Or maybe this would help:

“There should be Realbook to go along with your Facebook.”

RUN, SANTA, RUN!

Don’t forget to cheer on runners today at Opportunity Village’s “Great Santa Run” downtown.

Holly Madison hosts. Chippendales are grand marshals. And this just in: Olivia Newton-John and Wayne Newton just signed up to appear.

Entertainers warm up Santas at 9 a.m., and the run starts at 10 a.m. at the Jamba Juice Start Line stage. More here (http://www.lasvegassantarun.org/).

Doug Elfman’s column appears on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Email him at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.

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