Resolutions for local theater organizations

The folks at local theater organizations who are badgering their heads trying to figure out some professional-oriented New Year's resolutions may now rest easy. I've come up with a list:

■ Atlas Theatre: That you will do more. Your take on Patrick Marber's "Closer" was a stunner, but it's been your only show this season. Come on, feed us.

■ Cockroach Theatre: That you will continue your practice of presenting challenging scripts by writers seasoned and new, while working hard to regain your footing as a once first-rate troupe.

■ College of Southern Nevada: That you will ruthlessly seek out the reasons why your theater has transformed itself from one of the city's best to one of our most embarrassing.

■ Henderson Pavilion: That you will figure out a way to train ushers to handle evil flash-photographers who ruin your shows. And that you'll resolve to do something with your sound system - like, making it listenable.

■ Las Vegas Academy: That you will continue to challenge your students by demanding the best from them. Your high school pupils make your shows among the best in town.

■ Nevada Conservatory Theatre: That you will discover innovative marketing methods that will put a stop to your dwindling audience numbers. Your shows, flaws and all, deserve to be seen.

■ Las Vegas Little Theatre: That you will come up with ways to surpass yourself. You already richly contribute to the community through many swell productions, fringe festivals and original play competitions. How about setting a goal of one new innovation every year or three?

■ Onyx Theatre: May you continue to find gimmicks to market your local cabaret series. You've been offering of late an inexpensive venue for Vegas talent to show off their wares. The challenge now is figuring out how to get the public to understand what they're missing.

■ Poor Richard's Players: I don't have to tell you guys this, but do whatever's necessary to find yourself a permanent home and to start announcing seasons. You already know the importance of good work. Now, if only the general public knew where to find you and what your schedule is.

■ Rainbow Company: Resolve not to change a thing. Persevere. Know that your special talents are deeply appreciated.

■ Signature Productions: That, after a temporary shutdown due to the local libraries' hefty increase in rental rates for their performing arts centers (recently rescinded), you will return in all your previous splendor. For years, you were the best bet in town for big, splashy musicals. Now: Will your March production of "Camelot" reflect your former high standards?

■ Super Summer Theatre: May you continue to seek pathways toward perfection. You folks have taken what once was a consistently third-rate producing organization (they do four outdoor shows in the summer at Spring Mountain Ranch) and turned it into a major showcase for family entertainment. How far can you go?

■ The Smith Center for the Performing Arts: That you will embrace criticisms from the public and the press with the goal that in the near future you will be as near perfect an institution as any theater fan would have the right to die for.

Anthony Del Valle can be reached at vegastheaterchat@ aol.com. You can write him c/o Las Vegas Review-Journal, P.O. Box 70, Las Vegas, NV 89125.