Pretending is good career training for comedian Feimster

Fortune Feimster describes herself as a gay woman who favors Democratic politicians, but if she were locked in a room with Donald Trump, is there anything he could say to tempt her vote?

"Oh wow, we're digging deep," the Venetian headliner said and laughed.

"I would want gay rights upheld," she said. "Even though we have the right to get married, there are a lot of rights we don't have, state by state, and I would want that to be resolved, because there are a lot of states where gay people can still get fired for being gay, and that's not right."

Anything else?

"Women's rights are a big issue. I would want Planned Parenthood to stay funded, and for women to have the right to choose," she said, "and to get the health care they need."

Feimster, raised primarily by a middle class single mom, also wants Trump (or any politician) to enact more policies to help single mothers and the middle class.

But she doesn't think Republicans are trying to get her vote. To be fair, that seems pretty obvious to everybody.

"Those social issues are more important to Democrats. They're not as big of a thing for Republicans," Feimster said.

Feimster performs stand-up this Saturday at The Venetian hotel's "Lipshtick" series, in a two-comedian lineup with Jen Kirkman, breakout star of Funny or Die's "Drunk History" and E!'s "Chelsea Lately."

Feimster stressed she's not a scorched-earth Democrat.

"Coming from the South, I have a lot of friends who are conservative and Republican. I'm never going to be so liberal that I'm totally bashing them and saying they're wrong, because they have their beliefs that they hold onto very strongly, that they could easily say that I'm wrong."

Ah, yes, the Southern expatriate who has moved out West. Feimster, 35, was reared in a little spot in North Carolina.

"My parents — if we wanted to be entertained — they were, like, 'Go outside and pick up sticks. Pretend.'"

Feimster picked up sticks, went to college, taught English in Spain, then flew to Los Angeles with no money, practiced some entertainment journalism, rose up the ranks of the Groundings' pretend organization, became a semifinalist on "Last Comic Standing," and a writer and performer on "Chelsea Lately," the show that lit a helpful fire under a generation of female comedians.

Feimster still rocks that rural Southern accent.

"There are certain things the South gets a bad rap for, which it should. But there are also a lot of great things about it I'm grateful for," she said.

"Being Southern made me a better storyteller," she said. "I grew up listening to a lot of people tell really colorful stories."

Since I knew what she was taking about, I joked, "You mean you heard a lot of long lies?"

"They just embelish," she said. "That's part of comedy, is taking the truth and expanding on it. You take a morsel of a true story, and then make up a bunch of other stuff around it."

Oh, pretending again. It's amazing how many careers revolve around pretending — acting, directing, doing stand-up, doing anything at all in Los Angeles really, and don't forget politicians, the George Washingtons of pretenders.

You know, the great pretender Kanye West claims he's running for president in 2020. I'm hoping Kanye starts a third party. Feimster is a tad skeptical.

"He's got some policies to catch up on," she thinks.

What about Miley Cyrus? I think I'd vote for Miley for some office.

"She certainly would be a colorful addition to the White House," Feimster said. "I think she'd come in there and paint it rainbow."

Feimster is rooting for Bernie Sanders, primarily, but comedy comes first, and that's why she Tweeted during the Las Vegas Democratic debate:

"If Bernie Sanders wins the presidency, the White House will be STACKED with Werther's Originals."

However, she's more concerned with Madonna, who will perform in Las Vegas on Saturday night, at the same time as Feimster and Kirkman.

"If you want to hear Madonna, just go on your iPad or whatever and press play. It's the same thing as seeing her live," Feimster said in a comic competitive spirit.

Doug Elfman can be reached at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman. On Twitter: @VegasAnonymous