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‘R2-D2 Hearts C-3PO: Honeymoon In The Stars?’

Disney plans to release at least three “Star Wars” spin-off movies, along with sequels, but there are no female lead heroes being mentioned by press speculators.

Disney CEO Bob Iger announced Wednesday Disney has three spin-offs (and maybe more) teeing up, as he mentioned to people listening to a “quarterly earning call” (business lingo is the worst, isn’t it?).

The reported plan: One spin-off in 2016, followed by another spin-off every other year, in between franchise sequels.

I love this idea. It’s conceivable that by the year 2025, the original “Star Wars” movies could be surpassed in quality by a spin-off, or a spin-off of a spin-off. (It’s also possible we’ll be inundated with movies as good as, say, “Super Mario Bros.”)

People in the media, and “Star Wars” junkies (I love “Star Wars” and I have four framed posters in my house, so I’m not slamming fans), immediately restarted conjectures of which “Star Wars” characters are most primed to helm their own sub-“Star Wars” universes.

1. How about Han Solo?

Well, duh. I am 47. I saw “Star Wars” in the theater. Let me tell you, when the Death Star exploded, the entire theater crowd leapt to our feet and cheered and some cried with joy, as if we had all gone back in time and blown up all the Nazis at once together. (The Death Star was nothing if not a fictional manifestation of Hitler’s evil glob of goose-stepping morons.)

We all walked out of the theater and said the same thing: “Han Solo is the greatest person who ever existed.” (I was a kid, so you’ll have to excuse me for not thinking at the time that Han Solo was not a real person for five seconds.)

2. As the Yahoo! writer and others posited: How about Boba Fett?

OK, look.

Can someone please, for the love of god, tell me what’s so intriguing about Boba Fett? Is it an irony thing, orrr?

I never knew who Boba Fett was until I met Vegas writer Andrew Kiraly a decade ago, and someone told me he was in a punk band as a kid, and the band was called Boba Fett Youth.

Wasn’t Boba Fett just some throwaway bad guy?

3. Why isn’t anyone championing female heroes?

Oh, right, because Hollywood. If Angelina Jolie isn’t involved, no can do, apparently. Jolie is like today’s version of Sigourney Weaver (or Pam Grier). We can only have one female superstar action hero at a time, can we? (I actually prefer Kate Beckinsale in the vampire “Underworld” flicks, and sometimes I can dig on some Milla Jovovich / “Resident Evil” shenanigans.)

Bottom line: Where the women at?

How about Princess Leia?

How about … Wait, who are the powerhouse women stars of “Star Wars?”

Leia held down the woman anchor almost single-handedly in the original films, and then my brain has not retained anything much of the following three prequels, other than the cheesy Darth-rising-then-screaming-“nooo” climax (spoiler).

Having said that, Disney should start with a Samuel L. Jackson spin-off, because if not now, when?

I’m also going to request Disney eventually film the obvious movie we have all expected forever:

“R2-D2 Hearts C-3PO: Honeymoon In The Stars.”

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