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LETTER: Congress tackles UFOs

Now that members of Congress have resolved all the major concerns of the American people, they are taking on the important task of investigating the veracity of UFOs. One question is whether an alien spaceship crashed near Roswell, New Mexico, many years ago. Are we to believe that these incredibly advanced beings successfully traversed the universe — skirting black holes, resisting the gravitational pull of supernovas and dodging asteroids — only to succumb to a faulty fuel pump or dead battery in the New Mexico desert?

Should that spaceship exist, it is far more likely that they were on a no-return exploratory mission searching for intelligent life. They probably surveilled Washington, D.C., and, in a fit of despair, flew into the desert and committed suicide.

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