Dear America. All your females belong to Hello Kitty.
Well, that’s not news. Everybody knows that. But this is news:
“Hello Kitty’s Supercute Friendship Festival” is launching in 2015, and it’s coming to the Orleans hotel Aug. 14-16.
Tickets range wildly from $19 to $189 for children and adults to take part in a completely fabricated world of non-human adorability.
What does a “Supercute Friendship Festival” entail, and how does it differ from an “Elfman Supercute Friendship Festival?”
A. You can dress up for cosplay. Obviously.
B. You can’t take your own kitty or doggie, as there can be only one Hello Kitty in Vegas.
C. You have to pay a few extra bucks for various photo opps.
D. Each ticketed “session” that you pay for seems to last just a few hours, but promises DJ dancing, Hello Kitty and Friends in concert, temp tattoos, lounge areas for dads and such, an art gallery, Hello Kitty origami workshops, and naturally a litter of merchandise for you to dump all your savings accounts into.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to travel back in time to inform George Washington that everything in America turned out great, and to keep fighting for our freedom to meow with one paw in the air.
Here’s where you can bookmark tickets.
Catch the video below.
Contact Doug Elfman at firstname.lastname@example.org. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.